Fascinative parameters of mindful communcation: linguisctic view

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Kyiv National Linguistic University (Kyiv, Ukraine)

Fascinative parameters of mindful communcation: linguisctic view

Liana Koziarevych-Zozulya

Associate Professor at

Korunets Department of English Philology and Translation

Abstract

The article is dedicated to the phenomenon of mindful communication. This type of communication is especially essential in this age of technology, social recession due to Covid-19 and insta-everything, because it allows us to make interpersonal connections with the person we are talking to. By being mindful in communication it is meant that we acknowledge the value in each person we talk to. Communication is the most successful when it starts with self-awareness of one's own emotions and thoughts. This helps to interact with others in a more understanding way. Therefore effective communication through mindfulness is one of the most significant ways to gain that trust in relationships. The article is rather topical since today the type of communication predetermines the outcome of interpersonal relationships. Communication is considered to be a key tool in human interaction. However, its effectiveness is based on trust relationships between communicants. The article investigates the tactics of producing harmonious, successful, and healthy interpersonal relationships which are increasingly achieved through the ability to perform constructive and authentic communication via verbal and nonverbal means. The research pursues the tasks: 1) to define mindful communication in the light of linguistics; 2) to characterize mindful communication in the discourse of Ted Talks; 3) to find out fascinative tactics of mindful communication; 4) to single out the components of mindful communication; 5) to depict a mindful speaker; 6) to give a model of mindful communication. The article proves that mindfulness is critical in communication as it is the act of being present and aware of what you are saying to others without judgment. It is emphasized that communicating mindfully starts with being present and aware of one's thoughts, feelings, actions and intentions while listening to another person. Otherwise, reactionary and superficially processed communication can be considered mindless, i.e. to communicate mindfully means to be effortful and steadfast.

Key words: communication, mindfulness, strategies, tactics, fascinative.

Ліана Козяревич-Зозуля, доцент кафедри англійської філології і перекладу імені І.В. Корунця Київського національного лінгвістичного університету (Київ, Україна)

Фасцинативні параметри усвідомленого спілкування: лінгвістичний погляд

Анотація

conscious communication interpersonal relationships

Статтю присвячено феномену усвідомленого спілкування. Цей тип спілкування є особливо важливим у сучасну епоху технологій і соціальної рецесії через Covid-19, оскільки дозволяє нам установити міжособистісні зв'язки з людиною, з якою ми розмовляємо. Уважність у спілкуванні означає, що ми визнаємо цінність кожної людини, з якою говоримо. Спілкування є найбільш успішним, коли воно починається із самоусвідомлення власних емоцій і думок. Це допомагає краще взаємодіяти з іншими. Тому ефективне спілкування через уважність є одним із найважливіших способів завоювати довіру у стосунках. Стаття є актуальною, оскільки нині такий тип спілкування зумовлює результат міжособистісних стосунків. Спілкування вважають ключовим інструментом взаємодії людей. Однак його ефективність базується на довірчих стосунках між комунікантами. У статті досліджено тактику створення гармонійних, успішних і здорових міжособистісних стосунків, які досягаються завдяки здатності здійснювати конструктивне та автентичне спілкування вербальними і невербальними засобами. Дослідження передбачає вирішення таких завдань: 1) визначити поняття «усвідомлене спілкування» з позицій лінгвістики; 2) охарактеризувати усвідомлене спілкування у дискурсі Ted Talks; 3) з'ясувати фасцина- тивні тактики усвідомленого спілкування; 4) виокремити складники усвідомленого спілкування; 5) описати портрет усвідомленого оратора; 6) надати модель усвідомленого спілкування. Матеріал статті доводить, що усвідомленість має вирішальне значення у спілкуванні, оскільки це акт присутності та усвідомлення того, що ви спілкуєтеся з іншим без засудження. Наголошено, що усвідомлене спілкування починається із присутності та усвідомлення своїх думок, почуттів, дій та намірів, слухаючи іншу людину. Інакше реакційне і поверхневе спілкування можна вважати неусвідомленим, тобто «спілкуватись усвідомлено» означає «докладати зусиль, бути старанним і непохитним».

Ключові слова: комунікація, усвідомленість, стратегії, тактики, фасцинативний.

Target setting

The topic of mindful communication has not been under a specific linguistic study yet. However, in psychology and philosophy it is actively discussed and applied. The research is aimed at focusing on the main function of mindful communication which is improving relationships by helping people to understand one another, express themselves more clearly, and feel understood during conversations. In other words, mindful or conscious communication is not about being perfect or trying to control an outcome of communicative relationships. Mindful communication means taking a moment before speaking to consider how the words will affect the audience. It means being thoughtful about what you are saying and how it impacts the person at the other end of your comments.

Research analysis

Susan Chapman, a psychotherapist explains how the practice of mindfulness awareness can change the way we speak and listen, enhance our relationships, and help us achieve our goals (Chapman, 2002 p. 25).

S. Chapman highlights five key elements of mindful communication--silence, mirroring, encouraging, discerning, and responding. The mentioned elements make it possible for us to listen more deeply to others and develop greater clarity and confidence about how to respond. The research of mindfulness also includes Mindful communication is the act of being present and aware of what a speaker is saying without judgment (Nyanaponika Thera, 1972, p. 11). In the process of mindful communication communicators know how to listen and manage their emotions, feelings, and thoughts. It a conversation participants' commitment to understand one another and take each other's needs into consideration.

Statement of basic materials

Mindful communication involves mainly listening to the self and the various sensations and emotions that arise within them during communicative processes (Baer, R.A., Smith, G.T., Hopkins, J., Krietemeyer, J., & Toney, L., 2007, p. 28). This type of communication appears due to genuine listening, from a position of openness and curiosity without defensiveness. This communication eliminates fear, and it enables change and growth and the ability to connect to a broad vision and create the groundwork for effective relationships to establish and maintain.

Let us analyze the extract taken from Ted Talk The Prison Of Your Mind Sean Stephenson.

He starts from true story: When I was born, the doctors told my parents that I would be dead within the first 24 hours of my life. 35 years later, all those doctors are dead and I am the only doctor that remains.... And I'm not here today to tell you that I've had adversity in my life and so therefore, I know what you are going through. I don't have a clue what any of you are going through in your lives. I did not grow up in your neighborhoods more than likely. I did not have your set of parents, nor do I live in your body. I've not had the events that you've had happened to you. I can tell you I am only an expert on one thing, and that's how to be me, and I do it well. But it's not come easily.

This is an example of mindful speech as it presupposes using the emotional discourse. The speaker is in the heart of his speech, displays open and meaningful communication with. His real challenge is an emotional one: I've gone through things that I don't wish upon anyone in this room. I've had metal rods pulled out of bone marrow while I was awake. I've had jaw infections where teeth had to be extracted and I can no longer chew my own food. I have to get up every day and be showered and cared for physically by another human being. Fortunately, she is a gorgeous woman that I married.

The speaker strives his audience to have alignment with his emotional state. Mindfulness of this speech is proven by a form of awareness, thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, and the surrounding environment. The demonstration of mindful communication may also serve the following: Because if I believe that I am disabled, I would wither up, I would be shy, I would be insecure, I would be afraid, I would act like I need your help. And the rest of humanity would be OK with that. But I choose something else. I choose to be strong, I choose to be a leader, I choose to have words to move this planet. I'll tell you why I was born. And I hope it inspires you to find out why you were born. I was born to rid this world of insecurity. Because when a human being is insecure, they do stupid stuff. When we feel like we're not enough, we chase external validation, and external objects to try to tell us we're enough.

According to our observations, mindful communication has the following characteristics:

1. Personalized;2.Precise;3.Patient;4.Passionate;5 Pragmatic; 6. Purposeful; 7. Perpetual (Baer, R.A., Smith, G.T., Hopkins, J., Krietemeyer, J., & Toney, L., 2007 p. 30).

Being personalized, mindful communication means that it stands a higher chance of being received and comprehended better. Then the speaker goes on: Because deep down inside, I've found that every human being just wants to be loved, even if they're tough, even if they're scary, even if they're viscous. You get them in the right position, at the right time, they'll tell you the truth. They just want to be loved. In this way he provides the emotional context to his message.

Then he raises another important topic - to be empathetic (When you feel sorry for yourself, you will wither. But there's a contradiction to feeling sorry for yourself, it's the opposite of extreme, it's what I call `bullying yourself, beating yourself up, being your own enemy and telling yourself that all those predictions, those negative opinions, they're true, they're right, you're washed up, failure. You're not going to amount to anything. Bullying yourself is the most dangerous thing that you could do. You cannot afford to pity yourself, you cannot afford to bully yourself, you have to love yourself, because the last lesson that I'm going to share with you today, that is I'm going to teach you what the real prison is).

The next characteristic of mindful communication is that it is precise. Applying accurate language when communicating is important in order to better convey what must be conveyed. Precision in language makes conversations more engaging and clearer. Mindful communication is when words matter. Mindful words are those that: a) make feel good and strong; b) make other people feel uncomfortable; c) give power; d) encourage others. Mindful communication means shedding attention and awareness on words. Mindful speaker is a patient speaker who takes time to sort their thoughts before they communicate. In other words, they are patient enough to give the other person some time to comprehend the message. Patience is key for any type of communication especially when listening to someone else speak or share their thoughts and feelings.

This Ted Talk speaker is an example of mindful speaker who exudes passion and energy when he converses, he puts the audience in a wonderfully thoughtful mood. He uses inclusive language, is an excellent storyteller, communicates passionately, carries positivity and enthusiasm.

This speaker is mindful because he uses mindful words that ask the following questions: How did he want the audience to respond to him? How did he want them to feel? We have singled out the following vocabulary of mindful words: sacred, pause, peace, stop, breathe, step, pray, move, change, faith, determination, survive, perseverance, can, wait, patience, courage, live, choice, action, love, hope, now, gratitude, whisper, inspiration, speak, paradox, laugh, pass, run, stay, motivation, home, accept, control, let go, self, wisdom, together, joy, happy, freedom, think, I, we, feel, rest, time-out, forgiveness, family, relief, calm, excitement, anticipation, attention, success, adapt, improved, compassion, fun, hear, defiance, resolve, compromise, willow, share, appreciation, safe, thankful, quiet, ignore, perspective, context, assert, flow, flexible, shine, serenity, cope, creative, present, will, resist, bend, energy, future, dream, effort, warmth, etc.

Pragmatic: People need to communicate to find solutions in a practical way that suits the conditions that really exist now. Choosing to speak mindfully means to really consider every word and the way it must be said. These are the words that could nurture oneself and the audience and which have pleasant energy.

Purposeful: When communicating on purpose, there is no need to alter ourselves into someone we are not. It's more about making sure that the message does not get lost in translation. Therefore it is necessary to frame the content to match the type of personality, the communicative purpose, the context of speech, and most importantly, the audience. To communicate more effectively, speakers should foster an understanding between each other. Refining communication for its intended audience better helps to get the message across. Communication is not what is said, but what is heard. Mindful communication means being mindful of the used and unused words. If the words are wisely chosen and the way of speech make an impact on the audience.

Perpertual: When we are communicating mindfully, it is important to think about the words we are using. As the words may remain perpetual: True freedom is dropping down out of that mind. And what my wife has taught me is to drop into your hearts, into mastering this beating thing that is more than just sending blood to the extremities. What is it doing? It's sending emotional possibilities, infinite possibilities of choice in our behavior, in our life, in our attitude. When you love yourself, whether you're sleeping on a prison cot, or in a mansion, whether you have food in your belly, or you don't know when your next meal is coming, when you love yourself, when you learn to master your emotions, then and only then are you free.

The given fragment shows a mindful speaker, he tends to use mindful language that is positive, accepting, interesting and encouraging. His words including true freedom, emotional possibilities, infinite possibilities of choice, love yourself, master emotions, etc. have vibration. They imprint on the audience's soul. Thus, such words may influence future thoughts and actions of the listeners. The power of the words is that they have a ripple effect on our lives. The way a speaker says something can have a big effect on the audience and how they feel about themselves. This makes it important to think before saying things, especially if those things have the potential to either make someone very happy or very sad.

So, mindfulness in communication comprises:

Mindful listening.

Mindfulness of the constructs of the mind

Mindfulness of thoughts and emotions;

Mindfulness of body language (Brown, Ryan, 2003, p. 823).

Listening is the first step toward mindful communication. To mindfully listen means to wait patiently for the other person to finish before we speak. Also, it means keeping our mind focused on the speaker, instead of wandering away.

These steps are actualized by:

Pause. When we pause, we are better communicators.

Focus on intention of the message.

Pragmatic benefits of mindfulness in communication are:

Emotional management.

Improved communication.

Fascinative tactics in mindful communication

The tactic of Undivided attention: When a speaker gives his whole attention to the person who's speaking by cultivating a state of presence, physically and mentally, without judging, without commentary. Paying careful attention to what the other person says sends the message that it is safe for them to be themselves around you.

The tactic of non-judgement: the importance of showing others that we understand them. Applying the non-judgment tactic allows to see the bigger picture, and to understand the others' perspective.

The tactic of “2 feet plus breath”: This tactic implies sitting or standing straight, uncrossed arms and feet. Feet planted firmly on the ground, focusing on one foot at a time, then breathing. This Ted talk is a true example of mindful speech.

The components of communicative mindful situation embraces: 1. The addressee's response; 2. The addressee's feelings and emotions. Mindful words give the power to transform a situation that might have ended in a different way otherwise. They help communicate thoughts and feelings to others in a way that makes everyone involved feel understood.

There are three fascinative parameters that bring communication together: body language, intonation, and content. The impact of each component on communication shows that at 55 percent body language is the source of more than half of what is communicated and heard; intonation influences 38 percent of what is heard, while the content of what is said has the least impact on communication, only 7 percent (Brown, 1998, p. 26). Body language is the way that our body communicates to others. This communication can happen through the way we stand, the way we move our hands when we talk, the expression on our face, and even where our eyes are looking when we talk to someone. Having mindful body language means that we are thinking about how our body language makes other people feel, and choosing how we want to present ourselves to others. Being mindful about body language helps to become aware of the way that we affect other people, as well as the way they affect us. When we talk to someone, our body talks to that person through our posture, gestures and facial expressions.

Mindful body language is: turning to face a conversation partner, sitting or standing up tall, and being aware of facial expressions. If a communicant pays attention to what the speaker is saying by gazing at them in the eyes, it shows thoughtfulness. This is about a desire to genuinely connect with another.

Mindful speakers are characterized by the following:

They are present with the other person - A speaker thinks before speaking, being conscious of the chosen words, makes a conscious decision, leads communication in a respectful manner. This speaker is also mindful of his intention and is aware of expectations.

They are present with themselves - they take time before responding.

Conclusions

Every communicant wants to be heard and understood. For this reason we recognize the importance of empathy, knowledge, and rationality in communication. Compassion is highly required to see things from other people's perspective. It is impossible to form genuine relationships with others if communicants cling to their preconceived notions. Then they will be able to reach an agreement, cooperate more efficiently and communicate more mindfully. Thus, communicating mindfully includes a nonjudgmental attitude toward the interlocutor, being actively present in the moment, and the capacity to swiftly adapt to change in an interaction. Active listening and thoughtful speaking as fascinative tactics are essential components of mindful communication.

Bibliography

1. Baer, R.A., Smith, G.T., Hopkins, J., Krietemeyer, J., & Toney, L. Using self-report assessment methods to explore facets of mindfulness. Assessment. 2006. No 13(1). P. 27-45.

2. Brown, K.W., & Ryan, R. The benefits of being present: Mindfulness and its role in psychological well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 2003. P. 822-848.

3. Brown, K.W. Emotional body, physical mind: An exploration of the psychosomatic system through the lens of day-to-day experience. Unpublished doctoral dissertation, McGill University, Montreal, Quebec, Canada, 1998. 234 p.

4. Chapman S. The five keys to mindful communication : using deep listening and mindful speech to strengthen relationships, heal conflicts, and accomplish your goals, Shambhala,2002. 224 p.

5. Martin, J.R. (1997). Mindfulness: A proposed common factor Journal of Psychotherapy Integration. 1997. No 7. P 291-312.

6. Nyanaponika Thera. The power of mindfulness. San Francisco, CA: Unity Press, 1972.

References

1. Baer, R.A., Smith, G.T., Hopkins, J., Krietemeyer, J., & Toney, L. Using self-report assessment methods to explore facets of mindfulness. Assessment. 2006. No 13(1). P. 27-45.

2. Brown, K.W., & Ryan, R. The benefits of being present: Mindfulness and its role in psychological well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 2003. P 822-848.

3. Brown, K.W. Emotional body, physical mind: An exploration of the psychosomatic system through the lens of day-to-day experience. Unpublished doctoral dissertation, McGill University, Montreal, Quebec, Canada, 1998. 234 p.

4. Chapman S. The five keys to mindful communication : using deep listening and mindful speech to strengthen relationships, heal conflicts, and accomplish your goals, Shambhala,2002. 224 p.

5. Martin, J.R. (1997). Mindfulness: A proposed common factor. Journal of Psychotherapy Integration. 1997. No 7. P. 291-312.

6. Nyanaponika Thera. The power of mindfulness. San Francisco, CA: Unity Press, 1972.

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