The amateur translation of humour on the basis of The Witcher by Andrzej Sapkowski

The next example is built on some sociological aspect of Poles, but not only - it may be considered as universal, but almost for all Poles it is a familiar concept like in this particular example:

ST: - Później - ciągnął Regis - wystąpiły alarmujące objawy. Zabawa i towarzystwo zaczęły pełnić rolę absolutnie drugorzędną. Zauważyłem, że mogę się bez nich obyć. Wystarczająca i naprawdę ważna stała się krew, nawet pita...

- Do lustra? - wtrącił Jaskier.

- Gorzej - odrzekł spokojnie Regis. - Ja nie odbijam się w lustrach.

In the translated version, there is one vital mistake, which unfortunately ruins the whole punchline.

TT: `Later,' Regis went on, `I started developing alarming symptoms. The fun and companionship started to play a secondary role. I noticed that I could do without them. What became important to me was the just the blood.'

`Did you feel too bad to look in the Mirror?' Dandelion asked.

`I don't reflect in mirrors.' Regis said calmly.

The entire pun rests on the concept of drinking alone to the mirror. However, there is a little twist in that story. Regis, as a vampire, cannot see his reflection in the mirror, so the whole concept of drinking to the mirror is the gag in this situation. Sadly, the target text does not reflect this situation in a proper manner. The sentence in which Regis explains the importance of blood in English is shortened of a crucial part. In Polish it is nawet pita and in English it should be added in the sentence of example as `even drank', which will create a logical link between the sentences. Then, the next sentence is changed as well, basically without any purpose. The Polish version directly suggests that the blood is drank in front of the mirror, when Dandelion asks: `Do lustra?'. Nonetheless, the English counterpart is going in the other way, because Dandelion asks: `Did you feel too bad to look in the Mirror?', which does not refer at all, to the alcoholic context of the pun. In this case, solving the conundrum is simple - all that is required is the link between alcohol and mirror. It can be achieved by replacing the Dandelion words with the direct translation from the Polish version for instance `To the mirror?

A similar representation of a cultural joke can be seen in the another example. The cultural background in humour is crucial in order to understand certain jokes or puns that are laden with cultural references. An example from the source text:

ST: - Daj, ać ja pobruszę, a ty skocz do piwnicy po piwo.

The translation of the exact phrase in English:

TT: `Let me grind, and you run into the cellar and fetch some beer.'

The problem in this short quote is simple, yet hard to explain. Because of the Polish phrase `Daj, ać ja pobruszę, a ty skocz do piwnicy po piwo.', which is a splendid paraphrase of probably the first Polish sentence ever written down by a medieval abbot in 1270 (`Daj, ać ja pobruszę, a ty poczywaj!'). The English equivalent is a direct translation from Polish, which cannot be criticised, because of its correctness. However, this correctness does not provide the humorous context, but the translators cannot be judged because of it. This kind of a deeply rooted cultural reference is extremely hard to distinguish for a non-native speaker of Polish. Even some Poles will have difficulties in recognising this famous quotation, especially its variation that is present in Sapkowski's book.

The following example is a representation of wordplay that used in a witty way creates a humorous situation.

ST: - Nie, Geralt - odrzekł po chwili Reynart de Bois-Fresnes. - Ja jestem błędny. Ale nie obłąkany.

In this short piece of the book, the wordplay used in the source version was not transmitted into the target text.

TT: "No, Geralt," replied Reynart de Bois-Fresnes after a moment. "I am a knight-errant. But I am not crazy."

The humour in this fragment rests on two words: błędny and obłąkany. There meaning is exactly the same as the words in the English version, but their visual similarity makes a humorous impression that force a reader to smile widely. This is an example of a homophobic pun that was mentioned in the work of. The English counterpart plainly translates the Polish version without preserving the wordplay. Unfortunately, because of the lack of the similar words in English, this kind of wordplay could not be transmitted properly.

As far as the archaic language is involved, the difficulty of the translation soars as it is visible in the following example:

ST: Kobietom pieniądze potrzebne nie są. Bo i po co? Nie piją, w kości nie grają, a kobietami, psiakrew, są przecież same.

The English counterpart misses the point that is made in the Polish version:

TT: Women don't need money. And why should they? They don't drink, don't roll dice - women are condemned, they do it to themselves.

The failure of the English sentence is unknown and surprising. The translators were lost, probably because of the Polish word psiakrew, which can be quite easily translated into English as `damn' or `heck'. Instead of that solution, the translators used the word `condemn' that is not suitable for the context mentioned above. The Polish phrase is short, clear and humorous. The text in the target language destroys the clarity, only because of the misunderstanding of one word. The ending of the sentence is as well totally different from the source text. `They do it to themselves' were supposed to reflect that the women mentioned in this short passage are condemned, because this is their own fault. Whereas, the interpretation of the Polish fragment could be entirely dissimilar. In the original, women do not need money for drinks, rolling dice and for `themselves' - of course in the sexual context. The English equivalent, because of the word `condemn', losses the humour that exists in the Polish version at the end of the phrase.

Another example is definitely one of the most intriguing. The Polish passage is as follows:

ST: - Bajlifa własne słowa! - zaperzył się mieszczanin. - Będzie on pod prangierem stał do zorzy za to, że siał! Siał zaś, złoczyńca, za nilfgaardzkim podpuszczeniem i za nilfgaardzkie srebrniki... Dziwne, prawda, zboże, jakieś siał, zamorskie bodaj... Niech wspomnę... Aha! Defetyzm!

- Tak, tak! - zawołał sprzedawca amuletów. - Słyszałem, mówiło się o tym! Nilfgaardzcy szpiegarze i elfy mór szerzą, studnie, źródła i ruczaje różnymi jady zatruwają, a to akurat: bieluniem, szalejem, leprą, defetyzmem.

- Ano - kiwnął głową mieszczanin w wilczurze. - Wczora dwóch elfów powiesili. Pewnikiem za trucie właśnie.

The source text equivalent humour rests on a Polish foundation, which is incomprehensible for the English speaking reader:

TT: `The magistrate read the judgment,' the man said indignantly. `It is said the criminal will stay in the pillory until tomorrow morning for on the command of Nilfgaard he has sown some strange, exotic herb. Probably poisonous… Wait, I remember… Oh! Defetyzm!'

`Yes, yes!' cried the merchant. `I heard talk of it. The Nilfgaardian spies and the elves are spreading epidemics, poisoning wells, springs and streams with various poisons such as hemlock, typhoid and defetyzm.'

`That's right,' said the fat man in the felt cap. `Yesterday in the square they hanged two elves. Surely for such poisonings.'

This fragment tells us a story about two peasants talking about the war with Nilfgaard. One of the Nilfgaard commanders `saw' some exotic plant or herb among people and that is why they were frightened. Eventually, that herb is supposed to be defetyzm, which is not translated into English, as it should be translated simply into `defeatism'. There is a question, why the word was not translated. Had the translators any problems with the meaning of the word `defeatism'? This in only one of the possibilities. Another one is that they thought that it is a some kind of a plant, without any equivalent. There is another theory to somehow support their decision. There is a possibility that they did it on purpose. Because in the context of the passage, the peasants did not know what defetyzm is, the translators decided to leave it in Polish for the English readers to build the same nescience.

The next example is a representation of an omission technique that was used by the translators, which is not the best translation technique while translating humour.

ST: - Nie trafi - powtórzyła Milva, poprawiając ochraniacz na lewym przedramienia. - Łuk ma dobry, ale łucznik z niego jak z koziej rzyci waltornia. Gorączkuje się. Po strzale dryga i trzęsie się jak baba, której ślimak wpełzł między półdupki. Dzierżcie konie, by mnie który nie trącił.

The English counterpart deprives the Polish passage of humour, because of its inaccurate translation.

TT: `It will not hit,' Milva repeated while she adjusting the guard on her left forearm. `The bow is not bad, but the archer is no good. A scatterbrain. After each shot he is shivering and slipping like he is flowing a snails trail. Grab the horses. Do not let go of them.'

In this short fragment of The Witcher, two humorous situations had fallen flat. The first one is the part in which Milva describes the archer: `Łuk ma dobry, ale łucznik z niego jak z koziej rzyci waltornia' in Polish and the English version: `The bow is not bad, but the archer is no good'. At the first sight, there is an obvious difference between the two languages. The translation is based on very simple words and there are no signs of humour in it, especially in the end of the sentence. Whereas, the original has a particular punchline in the same sentence. The joke rests on a sophisticated metaphor used commonly to describe a looser. Not only that the metaphor is sophisticated, it is as well archaic, because of the word rzyć that could be translated as `arse'. The second example of omission in this fragment is visible in the sentence: `Po strzale dryga i trzęsie się jak baba, której ślimak wpełzł między półdupki' in Polish. The English equivalent is once again deprived of humour: `After each shot he is shivering and slipping like he is flowing a snails trail'. Beside the fact that the sentence is written with a spelling mistake (flowing instead of following), the humour could not be preserved in this passage, because of the misunderstanding of the original sentence or the simplification of it. The source text is not built on a wordplay or an idiom that is untranslatable; it is a comparison that contains a joke. One of the possibilities to translate the sentence without losing the humorous context could be: `After a shot he shivers and quivers just like a woman that has a snail between her buns'.

The next example of untranslatable humour will be connected with the cultural blockade that almost forbids a non-native Polish speaker, to understand the humour.

ST: Margarita Laux-Antille, Triss Merigold i Keira Metz. Sheala de Tancarville z Koviru. Sabrina Glevissig. I dwie czarodziejki z Nilfgaardu.

- Internacjonalna rzeczpospolita babska?

- Można to tak nazwać.

In this situation, the translation is perfectly correct in order of structure, grammar and coherence, but it lacks the punchline.

TT: `Margarita Laux-Antille, Triss Merigold and Keira Metz, Síle de Tansarville of Kovir, Sabrina Glevissig and two Nilfgaardian sorceresses.'

`Is this the international republic of females?'

`You could call it that.'

The one and only conundrum that concerns this certain passage is the word rzeczpospolita in Polish and its English equivalent `republic'. The culture blockade in here is linked to the official Polish country name, Rzeczpospolita Polska, which is the equivalent of the English `Republic of Poland'. Word rzeczpospolita is used in English and means exactly the same that the Polish one, but its usage is so rare that for the majority of readers it would be incomprehensible. The humour of the word rzeczpospolita is more of a wink to the Polish reader, made by Andrzej Sapkowski, than a vital part of the humorous side of the books.

The last example is a perfect representation of a language blockade in which the author creates a phrase that cannot be translated into the target language without the loss of humour.

The Polish version of the text has been written with witticism and with a great language flexibility.

(2) ST: Paziowie roznosili na tacach wino, lawirując wśród gości. Yennefer w ogóle nie piła. Wiedźmin miał ochotę, ale nie mógł. Dublet pił. Pod pachami.

In the target text, beside the lack of the humorous meaning in the last sentence, the translation was properly prepared.

TT: The pages were going from guest to guest, offering wine. Yennefer didn't drink at all. The witcher wanted to, but couldn't. The doublet was uncomfortably tight beneath the arms.

The translators had a laborious work in order to solve the conundrum what to do with this punchline, which is one of the best examples of the flexibility of the Polish language. `The drinking' of the doublet could not be translated properly, whereas in the source text it suits splendidly. The wordplay in this fragment is very hard to notice for a non-native Polish speaker and most likely because of that, the translators decided to simply translate the phrase, unfortunately losing the humour.

2.3.4 Proper reproduction of a pun

This section will be devoted to the accurate translation of a pun into the target language. Because of the number of translation hindrances, the proper translation of humour is an incredible burdensome task. In the case of The Witcher, the elaborateness of Sapkowski's language creates an intricate environment in which, a translator has to be ready to face certain linguistic traps.

The example mentioned below may not be considered as a challenge for a translator, however is has to be noticed that there are some cultural and sociological background in several of Sapkowski's puns.

ST: Na ścianie widocznego w wylocie uliczki spichlerza widniał koślawy, wymalowany wapnem napis głoszący: RÓB MIŁOŚĆ NIE WOJNĘ. Tuż pod spodem ktoś - znacznie mniejszymi literami - nabazgrał: RÓB KUPĘ CO RANO.

In the target language, the structure of the Polish passage has remained and it is as follows:

TT: On the wall of a granary visible at the entrance to an alley stood a blurred painting, written in lime, which read - MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR.

Just below, with significantly smaller letters, someone had scrawled the following message - MAKE SHIT EVERY MORNING.

The cultural background in here is related to the famous hippies saying `Make love, not war' which was used in the exact form in The Witcher. If a translator is familiar with this cultural reference, than the translation of the locution will not be inconvenient. However, the second passage is a humorous variation of the saying mentioned above. Just like in the Polish version, the translator decided to follow the authors wake and mimeographed the structure of the pun, therefore it ideally resembles the previous saw, as well as, the source text. The English version is a bit more vulgar, but it this context, it is understandable. The usage of `shit' is more accurate in this exact context than for instance the word `poo'. In Polish, there is kupa, which is a neutral word, without any register or style differentiation. Obviously, `shit' as a swore word, changes slightly the register, nevertheless in suits well in the entire phrase.

The following example represents a conversation between three characters that are debating which of the regime is the best.

ST: Trzeba skończyć z samowładną tyranią, wprowadzić monarchię konstytucyjną, a po niej demokrację...

- Co?

- Ludowładztwo. Ustrój, w którym rządził będzie lud, Ogół obywateli wszystkich stanów, poprzez wyłonionych w uczciwych wyborach najgodniejszych i najuczciwszych reprezentantów...

Rience ryknął śmiechem. Zaśmiał się dziko Bonhart.

Serdecznie, choć trochę skrzekliwie, zaśmiał się z ksenoglozu czarodziej Vilgefortz. Wszyscy trzej długo śmiali się i rechotali, roniąc łzy jak grochy.- Dobra - przerwał wesołość Bonhart. - Nie na jasełki my tu się zebrali, lecz na handel. Dziewczyna, póki co, nie należy do ogółu uczciwych obywateli wszystkich stanów, lecz do mnie.

The English counterpart rests on the same humorous values that its Polish equivalent.

TT: It is necessary to put an end to the absolute tyranny and establish a constitutional monarchy. And after a democracy…'

`A what?'

`A government of the people. A system in which people rule. Ordinary citizens of all backgrounds, through the most worth and honorable representatives arising from fair elections…'

Rience roared with laughter. Bonhart thunderously joined him. A warm, if somewhat grating laugh came from the sorcerer Vilgefortz through the Xenophon. All three laughed until they cried.

`Come,' Bonhart interrupted the mirth. `We have not gathered here to party, but to talk business. The girl at the moment does not belong to ordinary citizens of all backgrounds, but to me.

This passage is mocking the modern world and their regimes, especially emphasising the democratic system. The translators were able to reflect the source text mockery and transform it into the target text. The translation of the definition of the `government of the people' was prepared in a well-thought way, accentuating the literary way of speaking of one of characters. The punchline is clear and definitely linked to the previous expression, hence the complete humorous situation is coherent and intelligible.

The last example of the translation that mirrors the humour in the English version of The Witcher is a short statement of Regis, a vampire.

ST: Wampir oderwał kończyste kły od szyi ofiary, utkwił w Ciri oczy czarne jak agaty.

- Bywają okazje - rzekł wyjaśniającym tonem, zlizując krew z warg - gdy zwyczajnie nie można się nie napić.

The brief fragment of the vampire explanation in English is almost identical in form of structure, and what is more crucial, in the value of humour.

TT: The vampire drew his fangs away from his victim's throat and look at Ciri with onyx black eyes.

'The opportunity arises, he said, as if in explanation, 'when you just can't resist the drink.'

This is another piece of the book in which there is a drinking reference, which may or not, be intended by the author to make a reference to some of the stereotypes that Poles are heavy drinkers. The English version lacks the description of the vampire that after he drank the blood, he explained it to Ciri while `licking blood off lips'. Despite the fact that it is not mentioned in the translation, it does not hinder the humorous message.



Conclusion

The conclusion of this paper will manage to answer some of the questions mentioned in the introduction of the thesis. After the analysis, this thesis proves that in order to translate humour in a literary text, a professional translator is a must. The amateur translators were able to translate comprehensibly several punch lines and jokes, but in most of the cases, they failed to mirror the actual humour that was intended in the Polish version of The Witcher by Andrzej Sapkowski. As to the longer fragments of the text, the amateur translators in many cases translated properly the context, whereas when it comes to the punchline, they had difficulties in understanding mostly the cultural background of a pun.

This thesis was written to analyse translation of humour. Looking only on that issue, we might draw a conclusion that the translators failed to convey the humorous situations mentioned in the examples given above. Although, there is another point that we have to be aware of. The translators main reason to translate the books was to familiarise the English reader to The Witcher universe. Because of the popularity of the videogame, the gamers desire to broaden their knowledge about The Witcher series was soaring. The decision to translate the missing books was spontaneous and it was desired to give the readers a glimpse of the books. The translators did not aim to create a perfect version of the books that even one day might be published. They simply wanted to share the joy of reading fantasy books with other gamers. They are aware of their flaws, they are doing it voluntarily, helping each other in translating chapter after chapter.

Discussing the value of translation we cannot compare a professional translator with amateur translators. In the given examples, there is a clear proof that the translators had major problems while translating humour. Because of that, we have to unanimously settle the question that a professional translator is more fit to translate humour than the group of amateur translators.

The quantitative analysis proved that 70% of the puns were translated properly. However, it is mandatory to think about the jokes themselves. The majority of the jokes that were adequately translated were simple phrases that has an equivalent in the English language. When it comes to for instance wordplay, the case is more complicated. In most of the cases, the amateur translators were unable to reflect the wordplay used in the source text, because of its intricacy and the distinguished style of Andrzej Sapkowski writing.

On the basis of this thesis, a simple conclusion might be drawn. We cannot stigmatise the work of the amateur translators, but on the other hand, we cannot praise them. We have to let a highly trained translator to do his or her job. Nonetheless, we cannot judge and despise the work that was done by the amateurs. Their devotion to help the others members of the community to be familiar with the works by Andrzej Sapkowski is praiseworthy. There is no doubt that after reading the amateur version of the book and after reading the published version (after it will be eventually translated) they will admire the work of the professional translator.



Bibliography

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Appendix

Polish version	English version
- A cożeś myślał? Że na tańce, na Zażynek? Przechodzimy rubież. Jutro o świtaniu rusza cała Bura Chorągiew. Setnik nie rzekł, w jakim szyku, ale przecie nasza dziesiątka przodem pójdzie jako zwykle. No, żwawiej, ruszcie dupy! Zaraz, wróć. Powiem od razu, bo potem czasu nie stanie pewnikiem. To nie będzie zwykła wojaczka, chłopy. Jakąś durnote nowoczesną wymyślili wielmożni. Jakieś wyzwalanie, czy coś takiego. Nie idziem wroga bić, ale na te, no, nasze odwieczne ziemie, z tą, jak jej tam, braterską pomocą. Tedy baczność, co powiem: ludzisków z Aedirn nie ruszać, nie grabić... - Jakże to? - rozdziawił gębę Kraska. - Jakże to: nie grabić? A czymże konie karmić będziem, panie dziesiętnik? - Paszę dla koni grabić, więcej nic. Ale ludzi nie siec, chałup nie palić, upraw nie niszczyć... Zawrzyj gębę, Kraska! To nie wiec gromadzki, to wojsko, taka wasza mać! Rozkazu słuchać, bo inaczej na stryk! Rzekłem, nie mordować, nie palić, bab... Zyvik przerwał, zamyślił się. - Baby - dokończył po chwili - gwałcić po cichu i tak, coby nikt nie widział.	`And what did you think ? That we are going to dance harvest-home ? We are crossing the borders. Tomorrow at dawn the whole Dun Banner marches. The centurion did not say in which formation, but our squad will be in the front as always. So, move your asses! Hey, wait a moment! I have to tell you something and that is an order. This will not be regular war lads. The dukes made up some shitty new stuff, some rescuing or something. We are not going to the enemy but with well,... brotherly help for our ancient territory, yeah. So watch out what I say now: leave the people in Aedirn in peace, don't steal...' `Why is that ? Kraska's mouth opened in disbelief. `Don't steal ? And what will we feed the horses corporal?' `Get enough food for horses but not more. Don't beat the people, don't burn the huts, don't destroy the crops... Shut your mouth Kraska! We are no raid, but an army, to hell with you! You will obey your orders or get hanged! As I said: don't pillage, don't burn, the women...' Zyvik paused and pondered. `The women', he added after a while `plough them silently and out of sight, so that you are not seen.'
- Będę czujny - westchnął. - Ale nie sądzę, żeby twój wytrawny gracz był w stanie mnie zaskoczyć. Nie po tym, co ja tu przeszedłem. Rzucili się na mnie szpiedzy, opadły wymierające gady i gronostaje. Nakarmiono mnie nie istniejącym kawiorem. Nie gustujące w mężczyznach nimfomanki podawały w wątpliwość moją męskość, groziły gwałtem na jeżu, straszyły ciążą, ba, nawet orgazmem, i to takim, któremu nie towarzyszą rytualne ruchy. Brrr...	`I will be,' he sighed. `But I doubt that this experienced player of yours will be able to surprise me. Not after all the things I've gone through here. I've been apprehended by spies, drowned in dying reptiles and ermines. I've been fed non-existent caviar. Nymphomaniacs with no interest in men have doubted my manhood, threatened me with rape on a hedgehog, pregnancy and even an orgasm of the kind that does not require any movements. Ugh...'
Czarodziej uśmiechnął się nieco znaczniej, zdejmując dwa kielichy z niesionej przez pazika tacy. - Obserwuję cię od jakiegoś czasu - powiedział, wręczając jeden z kielichów Geraltowi. - Wszystkim, którym Yennefer cię przedstawiała, oznajmiałeś, żeś rad. Obłuda czy brak krytycyzmu? - Grzeczność. - Wobec nich? - Dorregaray szerokim gestem wskazał biesiadników. - Wierz mi, nie warto się wysilać. Tb pyszna, zawistna i zakłamana banda, twojej grzeczności nie docenią, wręcz wezmą za sarkazm. Z nimi, wiedźminie, trzeba na ich własną modłę, obcesowo, arogancko, nieuprzejmie, wówczas przynajmniej im zaimponujesz. Napijesz się ze mną wina? - Cienkusza, który tu serwują? - uśmiechnął się mile Geralt. - Z najwyższym obrzydzeniem. No, ale jeśli tobie smakuje... Zmuszę się.	The wizard smiled a bit wider, taking two goblets from the page's plate. `I've been watching you for some time,' he admitted, offering Geralt one of the goblets. `You said that to everyone Yennefer introduced you to. Is it a deceit or just a non-critical approach?' `Politeness.' `For them?' Dorregaray pointed at the crowd `Trust me, they're not worth it. They're a conceited, envious, mendacious bunch; they won't appreciate your politeness and may even take it for a sarcasm. With them, witcher, one needs to converse in their own way, basely, arrogantly, rudely; you may even impress them then. Will you have a drink with me?' `The swill served here?' smiled Geralt pleasantly, `With all distaste. But if it suits you... I shall force myself.'
- Mów ciszej, Marti - syknęła Sabrina. - Nie patrz na niego i nie szczerz zębów. Yennefer nas obserwuje. I trzymaj styl. Chcesz go uwieść? Tb w złym guście. - Hmm, masz rację - przyznała po namyśle Marti. - A gdyby tak nagle podszedł i sam zaproponował? - Wtedy - Sabrina Glevissig rzuciła na wiedźmina drapieżnym czarnym okiem - dałabym mu bez namysłu, choćby i na kamieniu. - A ja - zachichotała Marti - nawet na jeżu. Wiedźmin, wpatrzony w obrus, zasłonił głupią minę krewetką i liściem sałaty, niesłychanie rad z faktu, że mutacja naczyń krwionośnych uniemożliwia mu rumienienie się.	`Speak lower, Marti,' hissed Sabrina. `Stop gaping and flashing your teeth at him. Yennefer is watching us. Keep class. You want to seduce him? It would be tactless.' `Hmm, you're right,' agreed Marti. `But what if he suddenly came up to us with the proposition?' `If so,' Sabrina threw a predatory look at the witcher, `then I would offer myself in the blink of an eye, even if we were to do it on a rock.' `And I would do the same,' giggled Marti, `even on a hedgehog.' Staring at the tablecloth, the witcher hid his face behind the shrimps and cabbage leaves, glad that the mutation of his blood vessels disabled blushing.
- Natura nie zna pojęcia filozofii, Geralcie z Rivii. Filozofią zwykło się nazywać żałosne i śmieszne próby zrozumienia Natury, podejmowane przez ludzi. Za filozofię uchodzą też rezultaty takich prób. To tak, jak gdyby burak dochodził przyczyn i skutków swego istnienia, nazywając wynik przemyśleń odwiecznym i tajemnym Konfliktem Bulwy i Naci, a deszcz uznał za Nieodgadnioną Moc Sprawczą. My, czarodzieje, nie tracimy czasu na odgadywanie, czym jest Natura. My wiemy, czym ona jest, bo sami jesteśmy Naturą. Rozumiesz mnie? - Staram się, ale mów wolniej, proszę. Nie zapominaj, rozmawiasz z burakiem.	`Nature knows not the notion of philosophy, Geralt of Rivia. What we call philosophy is merely the funny and pathetic attempts at understanding Nature made by man. The result of such attempts is also called philosophy. It's as if the beetroot pondered the meaning of its existence, calling it an eternal and mysterious Conflict of Bulb and Leaves, and considering the rain to be an Inscrutable Motive Power. We, wizards, don't waste time on guessing what Nature is. We know what She is, because we are Her. Do you understand?' `I'm trying but speak slower, please. Don't forget that you're speaking to a beetroot.'
O miłości wiemy niewiele. Z miłością jest jak z gruszką. Gruszka jest słodka i ma kształt. Spróbujcie zdefiniować kształt gruszki.	We don't know much about love. Love is like a pear: it's sweet and it has a distinct shape. Try to define the shape of a pear.
- A Calanthe - dodał Codringher - gwałtownie usiłowała zajść w ciążę i urodzić syna. Nic z tego nie wyszło. Urodziła córkę Pavettę, potem dwukrotnie poroniła i stało się jasne, że nie będzie miała więcej dzieci. Wszystkie plany wzięły w łeb. Ot, babska dola. Wielkie ambicje przekreśla zrujnowana macica.	`And Calanthe,' added Codringher, `struggled fiercely to become pregnant with a son. In vain. She gave birth to a daughter, Pavetta, then miscarried twice and it became clear that she wouldn't have any more children. All her plans went down the drain. Women's lot. Great ambitions spoiled by a ruined uterus.'
Paziowie roznosili na tacach wino, lawirując wśród gości. Yennefer w ogóle nie piła. Wiedźmin miał ochotę, ale nie mógł. Dublet pił. Pod pachami.	The pages were going from guest to guest, offering wine. Yennefer didn't drink at all. The witcher wanted to, but couldn't. The doublet was uncomfortably tight beneath the arms.
- Są pewne różnice - mruknął Geralt, wciąż pod nieprzyjaznym wzrokiem kocura. - Są - zgodził się Codringher. - Ty jesteś wiedźminem anachronicznym, a ja wiedźminem nowoczesnym, idącym z duchem czasu. Dlatego ty wkrótce będziesz bezrobotny, a ja będę prosperował. Strzyg, wiwern, endriag i wilkołaków wkrótce nie będzie już na świecie. A skurwysyny będą zawsze. - Przecież ty wybawiasz od kłopotów właśnie głównie skurwysynów, Codringher. Mających kłopoty biedaków nie stać na twoje usługi. - Na twoje usługi biedaków nie stać również. Biedaków nigdy nie stać na nic, dlatego właśnie są biedakami. - Niesłychanie to logiczne. A odkrywcze, że aż dech zapiera.	`There are differences' uttered Geralt, still under cat's unfriendly gaze. `There are' agreed Codringher `You are an anachronistic witcher whereas I am a modern one. Which is why you will soon be left jobless while I shall prosper. Soon there will be no strigas, wyverns, endriags or werewolves left on this world. And bastards will always exist.' `But you save from trouble mainly those bastards, Codringher. The troubled poor men can't afford your service.' `The troubled poor men can't afford your service either. Poor men can never afford anything, which is why they get called poor in the first place.' `What an unbelievably logical conclusion. And such a breathtaking discovery at that.'
Runą wówczas mury Loxii, Aretuzy i Garstangu, za którymi właśnie zbierają się ci poganie, by swe knowania obmyślać! Runą te mury... - I trza będzie, psia mać, od nowa stawiać - mruknął stojący obok Ciri czeladnik mularski w kitlu upapranym wapnem.	The walls will fall, of Loxia, Aretuza and Garstang, the walls in which these pagans are gathering right now to plot and scheme. The walls will fall...' `And then I'll have to put them bloody things back up again,' complained the journeyman mason in a lime-stained coat, who stood next to Ciri.
Ścisnął boki konia łydkami, ale Pegaz miał to gdzieś. Zamiast przyspieszyć, zatrzymał się i zadarł ogon. Jabłka nawozu chlupnęły w wodę. Jaskier jęknął przeciągle. - Bohater - wymamrotał, przymykając oczy - nie zdołał sforsować huczących porohów. Zginął śmiercią walecznych, przeszyty mnogimi pociskami. Na wieki skryła go modra toń, utuliły go w objęciach glony, zielone jak nefryty. Przepadł po nim ślad wszelki, ostało jeno końskie gówno, niesione nurtem ku dalekiemu morzu...	He pushed the horse's sides with his legs, but Pegasus did not move. Instead of speeding up, he stopped and lifted his tail. The horse donuts loudly splashed into the water. Dandelion yelped, shocked. `The hero could not go through the roaring cascade,' he yelped with closed eyes. `He died a brave death, hit by countless arrows. He was forever swallowed by the shadowy pool, dead in the embrace of weeds as green as nefrit, and all of his remains disappeared.... the current only carried horse shit to the sea.'
- A nie mówiłam? - wrzasnęła Milva, gdy tylko Jaskier skończył jej objaśniać, o co szło Regisowi. - Nic, jeno o tym! Mądrze zaczynają, a zawżdy na dupie kończą!	`Did I not tell you?' Milva cried at the same moment that Regis had finished explaining to Dandelion. `It's always the same! They begin with wisdom and always end up between a girl's legs!'
Czarodziejki, moi panowie, na nic tak nie lecą, jak na wyszukany bajer.	The sorceresses, gentlemen, do not go crazy for convoluted far-fetched tales
- Gadacie tak mądrze, że aż łeb kręgiem wiruje - parsknęła Milva. - A przecie i tak wszystkie te mądrości koło tego się kręcą, co u baby pod kiecką. Filozofy zasrane.	`You talk so cleverly in circles that my head is spinning.' Milva snorted. `And yet with all this wisdom you still revolve around to what is under a woman's skirt. Fucking philosophers.'
Geralt domyślał się, skąd pochodziły zdobycze. Nie skomentował od razu, lecz odczekał na sposobną chwilę gdy był z Zoltanem sam na sam, zagadnął go grzecznie, czy nie widzi niczego zdrożnego w okradaniu innych uciekinierów, nie mniej wszakże od nich głodnych i na równi z nimi walczących o przeżycie. Krasnolud odrzekł poważnie, że owszem, bardzo się tego wstydzi, ale taki już ma charakter. - Moją ogromną przywarą - wyjaśnił - jest niepohamowana dobroć. Ja po prostu muszę czynić dobro. Jestem jednak rozsądnym krasnoludem i wiem, że wszystkim wyświadczyć dobra nie zdołam. Gdybym próbował być dobry dla wszystkich, dla całego świata i wszystkich zamieszkujących go istot, byłaby to kropelka pitnej wody w słonym morzu, innymi słowy: stracony wysiłek. Postanowiłem zatem czynić dobro konkretne, takie, które nie idzie na marne. Jestem dobry dla siebie i dla mego bezpośredniego otoczenia. Geralt nie zadawał więcej pytań.	Geralt could guess where the bounty had come from. He did not comment immediately, but waited for a suitable moment. Once he was alone with Zoltan, he asked him politely if he did not see anything wrong with robbing other refugees, no less hungry than them, and fighting for survival. The dwarf replied seriously, that yes, he was very much ashamed, but he felt it was part of nature. “My great vice,” he explained, “Is my irrepressible goodness. I just got to do good. However, I'm a rational dwarf, and I know that I can't spread my kindness to all. If I tried to be good for everyone, for the whole world and all the beings inhabiting it, it would be like a drop of drinking water in the salty sea. In other words, a wasted effort. I decided therefore to take solid action, so it does not go in vain. I'm good for myself and my immediate entourage.” Geralt did not ask any more questions.
- On tylko tak głupio wygląda - potwierdził Jaskier. - Ale cały czas liczę na to, że wreszcie zechce mu się wytężyć mózgownicę. Może wyciągnie słuszne wnioski? Może zrozumie, że jedyną czynnością, która dobrze wychodzi samotnym, jest samogwałt?	`He just looks so silly,' Dandelion confirmed. `But in time he will finally use his brain. He may even draw a valid conclusion. That the only activity that a man does alone is masturbation.'
- Źle wróżę waszej rasie, ludzie - rzekł ponuro Zoltan Chivay. - Każde rozumne stworzenie na tym świecie, gdy popadnie w biedę, nędzę i nieszczęście, zwykło kupić się do pobratymców, bo wśród nich łatwiej zły czas przetrwać, bo jeden drugiemu pomaga. A wśród was, ludzi, każdy tylko patrzy, jakby tu na cudzej biedzie zarobić. Gdy głód, to nie dzieli się żarcia, tylko najsłabszych się zżera. Proceder taki sprawdza się u wilków, pozwala przetrwać osobnikom najzdrowszym i najsilniejszym. Ale wśród ras rozumnych taka selekcja zazwyczaj pozwala przetrwać i dominować największym skurwysynom. Wnioski i prognozy wyciągnijcie sobie sami.	`I predict a bad end for your race,' Zoltan said grimly. `Every rational creature in this world, when they fall into poverty, misery and unhappiness, commonly join with their kinsmen, because among them it is easier to survive the bad times, because they help each other. But among you humans, each of you looks at only how to make something out of misfortune. If hungry, then food is not distributed, the weakest is devoured. Such a procedure makes sense for wolves, allowing the individual to survive healthier and stronger. But among intelligent races such selection usually allows the dominant and biggest bastards to survive. Analyze this how you want.'
- Kompania mi się trafiła - podjął Geralt, kręcąc głową. - Towarzysze broni! Drużyna bohaterów! Nic, tylko ręce załamać. Wierszokleta z lutnią. Dzikie i pyskate pół driady, pół baby. Wampir, któremu idzie na pięćdziesiąty krzyżyk. I cholerny Nilfgaardczyk, który upiera się, że nie jest Nilfgaardczykiem. - A na czele drużyny Wiedźmin, chory na wyrzuty sumienia, bezsiłę i niemożność podjęcia decyzji - dokończył spokojnie Regis. - Zaiste, proponuję podróżować incognito, by nie wzbudzać sensacji. - I śmiechu - dodała Milva.	`I've found a company!' Geralt continued shaking his head. `Comrades in arms! A team of heroes! There is nothing to do but laugh. One who makes verses with a lute. A foul-mouthed female half wild, half dryad. A four hundred year old vampire. And a fucking Nilfgaardian who insists that he is not Nilfgaardian.' `And leading them is a Witcher, sick with remorse, helplessness and an inability to make decisions.' Regis finished calmly. `Indeed, I propose that we travel incognito, to avoid arousing sensation.' `And laughter.' Milva added.
- Na moim sihillu - warknął Zoltan, obnażając miecz - wyryte jest starodawnymi krasnoludzkimi runami prastare krasnoludzkie zaklęcie. Niech no jeno który ghul zbliży się na długość klingi, popamięta mnie. O, popatrzcie. - Ha - zaciekawił się Jaskier, który właśnie zbliżył się do nich. - Więc to są słynne tajne runy krasnoludów? Co głosi ten napis? - "Na pohybel skurwysynom!"	`On my Sihil,' Zoltan growled, barring his sword, `are etched dwarven runes to an ancient dwarven spell. Any ghoul that gets within the reach of my sword will remember me. You'll see.' `Ha.' Dandelion exclaimed who during their conversation had approached them. `So there are the famous secret dwarven runes. What is on the sword?' `”Go fuck the motherfuckers.”'
- Krrrrwa mać! - zaskrzeczą! Feldmarszałek Duda. - Ot, utrafił ptak w samo sedno - rzekł przeciągle Zoltan Chivay, poklepując zatknięty za pas toporek.	`Krrrrwa mother!' croaked Field Marshal Duda. `Oh the bird has hit the nail on the head,' Zoltan drawled while patting the axe in his belt.
Nie dziwota, że są harde urodziwe panie Wszak im drzewo wynioślejsze, tym trudniej wleźć na nie. - Idiota - skomentowała Milva. Jaskier nie przejął się. Wżdy i z panną, i ze drzewem kto nie kiep poradzi Trzeba owszem wziąć i zerżnąć, no i po zawadzie.	It is not unusual beautiful women are hard to see, The more proud the tree, the high you have to climb it. `Idiot.' Milva commented. Dandelion continued unfazed. A girl can be a tree but a fool who is not, should get an ax and end the problem.
- Jakeś grał, wołku ty zbożowy? Pało zakuta? Czemuś w listki, miast w serca wyszedł? Co to ja, dla krotochwili w serca wistowałem? Ach, wziąłbym pałę i walnął cię w ten głupi łeb! - Miałem cztery listki z niżnikiem, myślałem wyoptymować! - Cztery listki, a jużci! Chybaś własnego ptoka doliczył, karty na podołku dzierżący. Ty myśl trochę, Stratton, bo tu nie uniwersytet! Tu się w karty gra! No, ale i świnia burmistrza ograła, gdy dobre karty miała. Rozdawaj, Varda. - Placek w dzwonki. - Mała kupa w kule! - Grał król w kule, przesrał koszulę. Dubel w listki! - Gwint! - Nie śpij, Caleb. Dubel z gwintem był! Co licytujesz? - Duża kupa w dzwonki! - Akces. Haaa! I co? Nikt nie gwintuje? Dudy w miech, synkowie? Wistujesz, Varda. Percival, jeszcze raz do niego mrugniesz, to cię tak pieprznę w oczodół, że do zimy nie pomrugasz. - Niżnik. - Panna! - Wyżnikiem po niej! Panna wydymanna! Biję i ha, ha, jeszcze serca mam, na czarną godzinę ukryte! Niżnik, krayżka, kralka... - I trumfem po niej! Kto nie ściąga kozery, ten jest cztery litery. I w kule! Aha, Zoltan? Tum cię w miętkie trafił! - Widzieliście go, gnoma pieprzonego. Ech, wziąłbym pałę...	“How can you play this game, with that empty head? Are you deaf? You bid clubs, instead of hearts? What do I bid hearts and sing an operetta too? Oh, I should take my stick and whack you over your stupid noggin!” “I had four clubs and a jack, I thought I had the best bid!” “Four clubs! Unless you counted your little pecker when holding the cards in your lap. Think a little, Stratton, it's not university, it's just a card game! Even a pig could rob a mayor if he had good cards. Deal, Varda.” “Double hearts.” “You little shit!” “He already played his king, and crapped his pants. Doubleton of clubs!” “Screwed!” “You must be asleep, Caleb. Screwed a double there! What's your bid?” “A load of hearts!” “Raise. Haaa! And what? Nobody screwed? Nothing to say, my lads? Open, Varda. Percival, you blink in his direction once more, I'll punch you so hard in the eyes, you won't be able to close them till winter.” “Clubs.” “Queen!” “Followed by a King! Your Queen is fucked! I win and ha, ha, and I still have something I keep for a rainy day! A Jack, King, pair of ...” “And ten of trumps! He who takes advantage, we chop the.... Ah bollocks! Oi, Zoltan? You're turning soft!” “Fucking gnome. Eh, I would take this the club and ...”
- Po jaką cholerę - uniósł się Jaskier - chcesz oglądać tych wisielców, Zoltan? Żeby ich obedrzeć? Widzę stąd, że nie mają nawet butów. - Głupiś. Nie o ich buty mi chodzi, ale o sytuację militarną. O rozwój wydarzeń na teatrze działań wojennych. Czego rechoczesz? Ty jesteś poeta, nie wiesz, co to strategia. - Zaskoczę cię. Wiem. - A ja ci powiadam, że nie rozpoznałbyś strategii nawet wtedy, gdyby wyskoczyła z krzaków i kopnęła cię w dupę. - W rzeczy samej, takiej bym nie rozpoznał. Strategie wyskakujące z krzaków zostawiam krasnoludom. Wiszące na dębach również.	`Why the hell,' Dandelion raised his voice, `do you want to look at those hanged men, Zoltan? For loot? I can see from here that they have no boots.' `You're an idiot. This is not about the boots, but the military situation. The developments in the theater of military operations. What are you laughing at? You are a poet, you don't know about strategy.' `I hate to disappoint you, but I do know.' `And I tell you, you wouldn't know strategy if it jumped out of the bushes and kicked you in the ass.' `You're right. Strategy, which jumps out of the bushes, I leave to dwarves. And hanging from an oak, too.'
- Starzeję się - mruknął po jakimś czasie, gdy Plotka zrównała się z karoszem Milvy. - Zaczynam miewać skrupuły. - Ano, zdarza się u starych - łuczniczka spojrzała na niego ze współczuciem. - Odwar z miodunki pomaga na to. A na razie kładź sobie poduszeczkę na siodło. - Skrupuły - wyjaśnił poważnie Jaskier - to nie to samo co hemoroidy, Milva. Mylisz pojęcia.	“I must be getting old,” he muttered after a while, when Roach had caught up with Milva's black bay. “I am beginning to have scruples.” “Aww well, it happens when you're old,” the archer looked at him with compassion. “A decoction of honey will help. In the meantime, put a pillow on your saddle.” “Scruples.” Dandelion explained seriously, “This is not the same as hemorrhoids, Milva. You've got the wrong idea.”
Patrzajta, tam pod borem wilczysko tańcuje Zęby szczerzy, chwastem macha, raźno podskakuje Czemuż to tak wesoła ta leśna bestyja? Widno jeszcze nie żonata, kiedy tak wywija! Um-ta, um-ta, uhu-ha! Jaskier nagle zaśmiał się, wyciągnął spod mokrego płaszcza lutnię, nie bacząc na sykania wiedźmina i Milvy szarpnął struny i zawtórował na całe gardło: Patrzajta, tam na lęgu wilczek łapy wlecze Łeb spuszczony, chwast skulony, z oka łezka, ciecze Czemuż to ta bestyja taka zasmucona? Widno wczoraj ożeniona albo zaręczona!	"By the woods can you see, wolf in all his might, Grinning madly, wagging gladly, bouncing with delight. My, oh my, what a sight! Why no melancholy? Must be that still not wed, that is why so jolly! Um-ta, um-ta, uhu-ha!" Dandelion laughed suddenly, pulled out the lute from under his wet coat, and paying no attention to the hisses of Geralt and Milva, he plucked the strings and sang in a loud voice: "In the grass can you see, wolf just limps along, Looking down, awful frown, crying like a dog. Why is this mighty beast so badly rampaged? Must be that, freshly wed or lately engaged!"
- Symfonia - zauważył Regis, poruszając skrzydełkami swego szlachetnego nosa - jest, jak zwykle, akustyczno - olfaktoryczna. Od walczącego o przetrwanie zbiorowiska bije rozkoszna woń gotowanej kapusty, warzywa, bez którego przetrwać widać nie sposób. Charakterystyczny akcent zapachowy tworzą również efekty potrzeb fizjologicznych, załatwianych gdzie popadło, najczęściej na obrzeżach obozowiska. Nigdy nie mogłem zrozumieć, dlaczego walka o przetrwanie objawia się niechęcią do kopania latryn. - Niech was bies porwie z tym waszym mądrym gadaniem - zdenerwowała się Milva. - Z pół setki wymyślnych słów, gdy starczą trzy: śmierdzi gównem i kapustą! - Gówno i kapusta zawsze w parze idą - rzekł sentencjonalnie Percival Schuttenbach. - Jedno popędza drugie. Perpetuum mobile.	`The symphony,' Regis said, turning up his arched nose, `is usually acoustic-olfactory. From the group of people fighting for survival arises the delightful smell of cabbage stew and vegetables, without which, it seems, they cannot survive. The distinctive accent of perfume also forms the effect of physiological needs, handled wherever they can, usually on the outskirts of the encampment. I could never understand why the struggle for survival manifested a reluctance to dig latrines.' `May you be swept away with the devil for all your clever chatter,' Milva said angrily. `Instead of using fifty unintelligible words, use just three: Cabbage and shit.' `Cabbage and shit always comes in pairs,' Percival Schuttenbach proclaimed a profound truth. `One produces the other. Perpetuum mobile.'
Armia to przede wszystkim porządek i ład. Wojsko nie może istnieć bez porządku i ładu. Tym dziwniejsze jest, że prawdziwa wojna - a kilka prawdziwych wojen widziałem - pod względem porządku i ładu do złudzenia przypomina ogarnięty pożarem burdel	“The army is all about order and discipline. The army cannot exist without these two pillars." It is all the more surprising then, that real war - and I have known more than one! - In terms of order and discipline, is not dissimilar to a brothel engulfed in fire. ...

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