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Aspects of personal readiness modern men to paternity

Parenthood is not only biological, but also biosocial and social cultural phenomenon, its characteristics correlate with each other. Relations of parents and the child depend on their own sex and a sex of the child, age of the child, concrete social conditions, traditions [2,3], and also, we suppose, from child's experience of the adult and his notions of ideal and real parents. Educational influence of parents' example is connected with moral character of his father and mother, way of life of the family, conditions in the parental home. The family is environment for the child, society which influences formation of his character. It is the authority of parents that influences the children [6]. Thus, in the family child gets his first profound and bright impressions.

Besides fatherhood, parenthood, motherhood are elements of representative culture of the society establishing given samples as due, will mass media is the subject of social creating of reality. As a result, “media production stereotypes gender myths of public consciousness and gives them as models of behavior or national archetypes that reflect not only existing models of paternity, but also are direct instructions to action” [8]. For example, modern advertising production shows the parental images resembling traditional, patriarchal culture, in which image of impractical, unable to take care of the child father is opposed to image of skilful and practical mother, emphasizing intersexual relation existing in society, thus ignoring declared equal in rights participation of parents in education of children.

Actually, participation of the father in education of the child cannot be overestimated. It is necessary for forming the harmonious person, and in case of precise division of parental roles, influences the development of children positively. Psychological preparation of the boy for the future role of father provides his close emotional contacts to the own child, raises satisfaction of the fatherly role.

Forming of psychological preparedness of the man to paternity begins long before reception of news about pregnancy of his partner. Internal (psychological) readiness for paternity develops on the basis of experience which was shown by father of the man: individual style of paternity is basis for formation of the child's individuality, psychological features which will determine strategy of behavior in various vital situations in future. Formation of values, valuable orientations and vital plans, independence are realized at youthful age that make person search for the life sense directed to the future. There is a stabilization of individual life style and his personal features at adulthood. Transition of the man from a bachelor way of life to family, the period of his preparation for birth of children are considered by psychologists to be crisis stages [7]. On the way to the conscious paternity man should answer the questions: is he ready to paternity, what can he give to the child, what is he prepared to sacrifice in despite the difficulties of matrimonial life. Answer to these questions demonstrates a degree of preparedness of women and men to become parents [9].

To define what father “I want to be” the man turns to his own child's experience. Model of paternity, which was shown by father (another significant close man), provides the person with a ready sample, object of identification. The image of significant “another man” becomes the standard focusing self-development of the man. Besides, researchers Dzh. Bolen [1], K. Kenfild [4] confirm that especially paternity actualizes still persisting children's psychological problems, and personal conflicts. That's why, the probability that young father will to project and transfer his own child's experience and offences to the “new” family is great. If the image of the father is perceived by the son as positive, the child aspires to become «like a Daddy». Otherwise, when educational process from the father was accompanied by indifference, physical punishments, often or constant absence, becoming an adult, the young man speaks: «I will never be like he! ». And now the negative image of the father is a measure for comparison, an initial point for movement to an opposite image - ideal (action by contradiction).

Therefore, it is possible to conclude, that man's idea of paternity is formed firstly on the basis of experience got before his own paternity, secondly, of expectations, connected directly with parenthood. Experience «before own paternity» depends on perception of real relations with the father (or the person replacing him); these are acquired samples of behavior and reaction. Also mothers frequently identify their son with the father, sometimes comparison is positive, sometimes it has negative character («You just like your father», «Well, like father! »). An image of the father, not always authentic, has drawn by mass media, kino- and literary heroes.

Research of phenomenological space of paternity is made difficult by a lot of factors. At first, we may say, that the picture of paternity for every man is unique and individual, because it is developed on the basis of aspects of relations with his own father, parental relationship as translation of model of family behavior. In this connection the biographic block is important in the questionnaire, that shows, whether the child lived in family with the native father and how long. If he did not have native father, if there was a person was who replaced the father (the grandfather, the stepfather, god-father, the uncle and so forth). Secondly, stereotypes existing in modern society influence forming the image of ideal father in consciousness of young men [5]. Thirdly, the theme of relationships with the own father actualizes the last experience of the man which is not always estimated as positive. In this connection, some respondents unwillingly discuss this theme, ignoring some blocks of a questionnaire, or completely refuse participation in research. The task of research is to prepare the respondent to work with negative experience, and to find the ways of penetration to memoirs of relations with parents through psychological protection. The totality of factors complicates not only the technical aspect of gathering empirical material, but also the process of classification of the received data.

The Literature

psychological protection parent

1. Gin Shinoda Bolen. Gods in everyone to the man. Archetypes, men managing life. Moscow, 2005.

2. Borisenko J. V. Psychology of fatherhood. // Journal of the practical psychologist. № 1, 2007.

3. Evseenkova J. V. Fatherhood as the psychological factor of development of the person. The dissertation of candidate of psych. sciences. - Novosibirsk, 2006.

4. K. Kenfild. heart of the father. As the fathers can change the future of children. St. Petersburg - Kiev, 2001.

5. Levchenko A. V. Image of the father as the standard of the person for young men. // Materials of IV All-Russia congress RPC «Psychology - to the future of Russia», Rostov, September, 2007.

6. Nikandrov N. D. Russia: socialization and education on a boundary of millennia. Makhachkala, 2000.

7. Olifirovich N. I., Zinkevich-Kuzemkina T. A., Velenta T. F. Psychology of family crises. St. Petersburg, 2006.

8. Ribalko I. V. Transformation of paternity in modern Russia. The author's abstract of the dissertation. Saratov, 2006.

9. Smirnova E. G. Phenomenology of parenthood in young families. // Psychology of adulthood and ageing, № 1 (29), 2005.

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