The Psychology of the Formation of Adaptive Relationships between Parents and Children of Senior Age with Intellectual Disabilities in Ukrainian Society in the Conditions of Military Operations

The family plays a decisive role in determining the direction of a child's behavior; it is there that, in the process of interper-sonal relationships between spouses, parents and children, selfawareness, personal characteristics are formed, the foundations of moral norms and rules are laid, and value orientations are presented.

Depending on how these relationships and communication develop, what the family's potential is (family structure, educational, cultural level of parents, social and living conditions of the family, psychological microclimate, distribution of functional responsibilities between family members, etc.), the child's personality is formed.

In Psychology and Pedagogics, the leading role of an adult in the mental development of a child is traditionally recognized (Drigas, & Karyotaki, 2017). The main environment for a child is the family. It is the important component of a social situation of the personal development (Gathercole, Pickering, Ambridge, & Wearing, 2004). Currently, Psychology (Greco, Canal, Bambini, & Moro, 2020) has data on those psychological parameters of the ideal family that are determinants of the individual development of children and the formation of their ideal personal qualities in a given environment.

According to psychologists, a family differs from other small groups in the diversity, depth and duration of the ties that unite its members. They are these characteristics of the family that make it indispensable in raising the younger generation, since they provide a long-term emotional and multifaceted influence on the formation of the child's personality.

Scientists (Ivashkevych Er., 2023) say that personality as a subject in his/her actions, in acts of his/her creative initiative, is not only revealed and manifested. He/she is created and determined in personal qualities, in their ideal attitudes with the parents. Therefore, what he/she does can determine what he/she is; the direction of his/her activity can determine and shape him- self/herself. According to this definition, the activity brings a person into Ukrainian world, and by creating the world the subject creates himself/herself. Scientists (Ferdowsi, & Razmi, 2022) understand the activity of the individual as one of the levels of the initially practical and always inextricable interaction of a person with the world. They argue that such kind of the ideal activity is determined by its object not directly, but through its internal laws, thus external causes can act only through internal conditions. When explaining mental phenomena, a personality with a complex multi-level structure acts as a system of internal conditions.

In the structure of the ideal personality, scientists (Jiang, Zhang, & May, 2019) can distinguish such parameters, traits of character that there are system-forming or integral. These features themselves include more private, significant personal peculiarities. Different authors (Ivashkevych, Perishko, Kotsur, & Chernyshova, 2020) most often include into the structure of interpersonal relationships such system-forming personality traits, as: motivation, self-awareness and characteristics of interpersonal relationships (a set of personal qualities that determine the behavior, position and well-being of the individual in a great system of social relationships).

The research of other famous psychologists (Huang, Loerts, & Steinkrauss, 2022) also deal with the problem of studying adaptive interpersonal relationships in the family. The scientists formulated one of the most important fundamental principles of the Theory of Personality in Psychology. Scientists emphasized that the system of social relations into which a person is included from the time of the person's birth to death shapes of his/her subjective attitudes towards all aspects of the adaptive interpersonal relationships. This system of the person's relationships to the world around him/her and to himself/herself is the most specific characteristics of a person, more specific than, for example, a number of its other components, such as a character, temperament, abilities.

According to the theory of scientists (Hamedi, & Pishgha- dam, 2021), they define ideal adaptive family interpersonal relationships as system of relationships between the individual and the environment, as a holistic and organized system of active connections with the reality. Scientists noted the importance of a comprehensive consideration when studying communication took place not only by the features of reflection, but mainly the relationships of communicating with each other, as well as the modes of behaviour which were practiced. The personality manifests himself/herself in various forms and ways. Characteristics of the personality's ideal attitude indicate the presence in its three-component structure, including cognitive, emotional and behavioral aspects. Mentioning the importance of the innate basis in the formation of the person's attitude towards people, scientists (Murphy, Melandri & Bucci, 2021) specifically and persistently emphasize the role of people's emotional contacts and their attitude of relatives towards youth. Scientists (Vovk, Emishyants, Zelenko, Drobot, & Onufriieva, 2020) identify classes or subsystems of adaptive family interpersonal relationships: the attitude towards the world of some phenomena and objects, the attitude towards other people, also the attitude towards oneself and the attitude towards itself.

The problem of ideal personal relationships was understood in different foreign research (Mai, 2022). Scientists showed a great importance of the category of communication among other determinants that predicted the development of a human psyche. They emphasized that in the person's daily existence the individual was connected with other people, among whom the most significant were the child's parents and close relatives, that is, the child's family. Paying great attention to identifying the influence of various communicative situations on the mind, feelings, will and character of the person, we believed that the psychological mechanism for the formation of personal qualities in communication have the most important aspect. Since in the process of communication there is always a moment of knowledge of one person by another one, and at the same time the most important is even greater knowledge of himself/herself by each of them, as well as a moment of experiences caused by one person towards another one. Then, communication always turns out to be the strongest mean of forming attitudes towards other people, as well as towards the person himself/herself.

In the structure of ideal adaptive family relationships, a person's attitude towards himself/herself is especially important. This attitude, according to scientists (Mykhalchuk, & Khupav- sheva, 2020), turns out to be the most recent formation, but it is precisely that ensures the integrity of the personality's system. The relationships of the individual, united among themselves through the attitude towards oneself, form a hierarchical system that plays a guiding role in relation to holistic behavior, thus determining a social functioning of the person.

It is known that the activity and the process of communication constitute two aspects of the person's social existence, his/ her way of life. A real need for communication is determined by the joint life activity of the person. Thus, at each age stage for the successful development of the child the presence of adults is necessary; the most positive will be the case when close and significant people - such as Mother and Father - take part in the process of personality's formation.

In numerous research papers (Максименко, Ткач, Лит- винчук, & Онуфрієва, 2019) authors note that in order to form a full-fledged member of Ukrainian society, it is capable for regulating the child's emotional life. In order to develop adequate self-esteem, it is necessary for raising his/her own children in the future, a loving and understanding adult must always be the next one to the child. It is quite obvious that such close and constant contact can only be ensured within the family. Informality and emotional richness create the peculiar basis for the deep influence of interpersonal relationships on a person. Correct organization and full functioning of interpersonal relationships is ONE of the MOST IMPORTANT conditions for the full development of Ukrainian personality of a real citizen when we tell about the development of the person in the conditions of war, when adaptive family relationships are of the greatest importance.

Lack of closeness and attachment to the child, understanding of his/her interests and needs by adults leads to the fact that the child does not perceive parents' attitudes and requirements. Inadequate emotional contacts between parents and children have a detrimental effect not only on the formation of the child's emotional sphere, but also on his/her mental health. There is a great number of research in the foreign literature on the study of this problem. Scientists (Horney, 1994) consider the close contact of a child with his/her mother in infancy to be the fundamental basis for the development of such personal qualities as independence, self-confidence, warm and trusting relationships with others. Having been included into these relationships, by the end of the first half of the year the child is already able to differentiate his/her own “Me” from the non-“Me” of the mother. It is this period that is considered the most sensitive one in the development of adaptive family interpersonal relationships, it is called “attachment behavior”.

The dynamics of the adaptive family interpersonal relationships between trust and distrust in the Ukrainian society in particular and in the world in general, or, to quote some scientists (Tabachnikov, Mishyiev, Kharchenko, Osukhovskaya, Mykhal- chuk, Zdoryk, Komplienko, & Salden, 2021), the amount of faith and hope have been derived from the first life experience, it isn't determined by the characteristics of feeling, but by the quality of the child's care, the presence of maternal love and tenderness, manifested in caring about the child. The most important condition is the mother's confidence in her actions. A mother creates a great sense of faith in the love for her child by the type of treatment that combines sensual concern for the child's needs with a sense of complete personal trust in him/her within the background of the life style that exists in the Ukrainian culture. The presence of such an attitude according to the infant (or its absence) is one of the essential prognostic parameters, and not only because of the emotional and personal development, but also according to the mental development of the person in general.

Some researchers (Engle, 2002) draw their attention to the connection between close and warm relationships between a mother and a child in infancy and independence in early childhood of the individual. Scientists noted the connection between the deficit of emotional contact with the mother in the childhood of the individual and aggressiveness in adolescence. In such a case we have not a possibility to talk about positive adaptive family interpersonal relationships between maternal responsiveness and a child with low cognitive development (or a child with intellectual disabilities).

And let us return again to the consideration of this issue in Foreign Psychology (Horney, 1994). According to scientists (Horney, 1994), affective personal connections of positive content are formed between children and adults already in the first half of their life, which become the basis for the most positive attitude and self-perception of children. These facts form the foundation of their personal development. A mental development of a child in the first half of their life occurs most effectively in their family, where abundant contacts with the same adults who have a constant program of their behavior, which in a great degree facilitates the formation and the development of communicative activities. The brightness of the emotional manifestations of adults addressed to their children in senior school age is of particular importance. According to scientists (Tabach- nikov, Mishyiev, Drevitskaya, Kharchenko, Osukhovskaya, Mykhalchuk, Salden, & Aymedov, 2021), children who grew up with a lack of situational and personal communication in “cold families” are fearful, they have a lower threshold of the passive defensive reflex, which prevents them from developing initiative and research activity. Such children develop personal formations that precede stable “low self-esteem” in elder age.

In preschool age, emotional communication between children and their mothers during a game activity was analyzed by scientists (Mykhalchuk, & Onufriieva, 2020), who pointed out that if there is insufficient criticality on the part of the mother during a game activity, aggressive reactions of the child occur or take a place. When the mother showed excessive criticism that interfered with a game, the child always refused to cooperate with her.

We'll say, that in the process of developing child's empathy parents teach the child to generalize the experience of his/her own life experiences, take into account the experiences of other people and anticipate the consequences of his/her behavior towards the others. Parents discover the meaning of communication between people, encouraging or condemning in one form or another. In such a way adults evaluate and reinforce the child's moral behavior. We'd like to emphasize that the assessments and opinions of an adult become a guideline for the child when there are positive conditions of the child's emotional contact with the adult. In such conditions the adult's willingness to help facilitated the attention of adults to the child's problems and experiences.

Authoritarianism, dominance of one of the parents, a lot of conflicts between Mother and Father, disrespect for older family members, inconsistency and contradictory demands on the part of parents. All these facts neuroticize the child and frustrates his/her needs for understanding, respect and empathy from the side of other people. Neurotization of the child's personality, in turn, leads to the formation of egoistic forms of empathy, to the development of such forms as envy and aggression.

Violations of the child's emotional contact with his/her parents lead to profound the individual's personal changes. These children are also characterized by a tendency to rapid mood changes and inhibition of reactions. These factors provoked in children's psyche a lack of confidence in their abilities, had been influenced persistent emotional distress, negativism, negative forms of self-affirmation (Комплієнко, 2020). In the paradigm of adaptive family interpersonal relationships with adults these children have a great condition called in the literature a “semantic barrier”: if the adult's demands are diverging from the child's desires; he/she, as it had been occurred, ceases to hear and to understand them. In such a way broken relationships with parents negatively affect a child's self-esteem.

The analysis of the results having been obtained by us from the study of neuroses of children because of the situation of war in Ukraine allows us to assert that initially emotional disorders are arisen in the family, primarily when relations with the mother, who is the closest person in the first years of life, are disrupted. Scientists (Ferdowsi, & Razmi, 2022) in their studies on the prevention of childhood neuroses, also noted that with the correct position of an adult the child is given a great opportunity for the independence of his/her needs, but because of the child's neuroses adults usually limited the child's freedom. This situation leads to the closure of “Me”, limited the possibilities of the child's experience, inhibited the development of some the most important, necessary personal qualities, which can cause a number of disharmonies in mental development of children of senior school age and a certain maladaptation of their behavior.

The empirical method was a pilot research. So, we organized our own research in September-December, 2023, in Ukraine. In our research 34 senior children with intellectual disabilities from different schools in Pereiaslav participated. All these children live in full families in Ukraine from the early beginning of war. They were not internally displaced people and did not travel abroad during all hostilities. In our own research we pointed out that two-thirds of neurologically ill children with intellectual disabilities experienced the contradictory educational methods of their parents, emphasizing that educational positions towards children. It was one of the most important factors shaping the child's personality. We cited the evidence that a rejected child feels unwanted and superfluous. Such children sometimes fight for their position in the family or try to attract attention to themselves with bad behavior, which the parents do not approve of, but it helps the child become the center of attention of the family.

We proved, that the stability of the family environment, the relationships between Father and Mother is the most important factor for the emotional balance and mental health of the child. The breakdown of his/her family causes him/her depression and neuroses. Such personal characteristics, as aggression, infantilism, shyness (the result of disrupted relationships between a child and his/her parents) can be attributed to three levels of parent-child interpersonal relationships:

- Level I - the relationships between parents and a child are characterized as passive-defensive ones, children are in a state of hidden conflict, there is no possibility of establishing emotional intimacy.

- Level II - there is adaptive atmosphere of emotional incontinence in the family. Children adopt this style and treat their parents in a “mirror” way - it is active-defensive style. Children are confident that their requests and desires will not be satisfied. Accusations are responded to them with aggression. They do not know how to restrain emotional reactions; their behavior is dominated by excitability, conflicts and aggressiveness.

- Level III - there are the same family characteristics as in the second level, but children are noted to have a weak nervous system. As a result, in response to sharp influences from the side of their parents, physiological disorders arise such reactions, as tic, enuresis, stuttering. Typically, such a child is characterized by obedience, but the possibility of outbursts of aggression towards peers cannot be ruled out.

Lack of maternal care, which is explicated both in the form of isolation from the mother and in the form of hidden deprivation, when a child lives in a family, but the mother does not provide adequate care for him/her (treats him/her rudely, emotionally rejects him/her, is indifferent) manifests itself in violations of the child's mental health. Often these negative consequences are irreversible.

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