Coping behaviour of women in the situation when their partner cheated

The analysis of the results by the U-Mann-Whitney criterion revealed some significant differences between the group of women who had experienced betrayal and the group of women who had not experienced betrayal in their close relationships. In the group of women who have experienced betrayal, such coping behaviours as avoidance, self-control, confrontational coping, emotions, and physiological reactions stand out significantly. These strategies in combination create the basis for a rather complex emotional colouring of life. This is manifested in the constant focus on the situation of betrayal, which exhausts the mental apparatus and can provoke depressive and anxious behavioural patterns. Betrayal as a situation of grief, longing for a lost relationship, requires the experience of painful emotions, their awareness, talk through, and mentaliza- tion. And the identified coping strategies block the grieving process. Avoidance and self-control are ways of denying and ignoring the problem. Confrontational coping and emotional response, although they provide instant relief through the release of negative, aggressive emotions, also work to stop a truly balanced decision to change one's internal situation. After all, when a person manifests negative emotions in actions, they provide relief for a while, but do not allow them to reach the turning point of pain (suffering). The same tendency is demonstrated by the emergence of physiological reactions, which allows “digesting” emotional experience through bodily reactions. But this path leads to the emergence of diseases, often chronic ones. The identified tendencies indicate a certain regression, which is appropriate to the situation of trauma, and infantilism as its manifestation (ignoring the problem). It is worth noting that in the therapeutic sense, such coping strategies in the early stages of experiencing a difficult situation save the psyche from negative consequences. Some time should pass after the stage of acute experience of a traumatic event before working on the problem.

In the group of women who have not experienced infidelity in their close relationships, such coping behaviours as positivity and planning to solve the problem stand out significantly. These strategies include both emotional and cognitive components, and they are considered quite effective. They are aimed at working through situations, thinking, and rethinking irrational beliefs. This difference in coping strategies can be justified by the fact that women in the first group are in a difficult stressful situation, experiencing the consequences of a traumatic event that has significantly changed their lives. And now they need to adapt to a new relationship or a new thing in the relationship (the fact of betrayal) and cope with all the challenges in the ways they know. The next step is to recognize the need to rethink the situation, to acknowledge the difficulties they have faced, and to understand the irreversibility of the changes that are coming. Based on the theoretical analysis of the literature and generalization of the results of empirical research, the author proposed stages of correctional and therapeutic influence on optimizing women's coping behaviour in situations of betrayal. The technology included the following stages of implementation of corrective measures:

1. Expanding knowledge about coping behaviour and signs of its effectiveness. Study of constructive coping strategies, their characteristics, and impact on effectiveness. Consideration of cognitive and semantic barriers to the use of effective strategies, which provides an understanding of the relationship between subjective attitudes and behaviour in situations of betrayal. To achieve this goal, mini-lectures and discussions are used;

2. Increasing motivation for self-change and clarifying expectations. The emphasis is on clarifying expectations from the training, the level of expectations and ideas about self-concept. Identification and correction of resistance to self-change is carried out through group discussions, personal tasks and project tests;

3. Assistance in understanding the peculiarities of behaviour and coping strategies. Use of psychodiagnostic tools, such as project tests and questionnaires, to understand the repertoire of coping strategies and their construc- tiveness/destructiveness in the situational context of a relationship crisis. The analysis of coping behaviour in games is also used to achieve this goal;

4. Teaching new strategies for constructive behaviour. Use of various methods of active feedback on behaviour in situations that model crisis situations. Emphasis on activation of responsibility and flexibility of coping behaviour to achieve a higher level of subjectivity when dealing with situations of relationship crisis;

5. Assistance in individual planning of behavioural strategies. Expanding the space of goals and subgoals, learning the principles and criteria of effective goal setting, as well as discussing coping strategies to achieve success in different life situations;

6. Post-training support. Monitoring and support in the use of constructive coping strategies in real life situations. This is achieved through individual and group counselling in the 2-3 month post-training period.

DISCUSSION

The article examines coping behaviour in the situation of betrayal, which threatens psychological comfort and is perceived as difficult. Its mastery requires considerable personal resources. Despite the high interest in this topic, women's coping strategies and behaviours in situations of infidelity have not been studied sufficiently. The importance of the study was to understand how the perception of infidelity by an uninvolved partner affected their mental health; how to reduce these negative consequences by reducing the impact of ineffective coping strategies. The research of M. Lonergan et al. (2021) confirms that the strong emotional background in which women who have experienced infidelity are experiencing includes specific emotional manifestations of trauma: Feelings of intense anger, insecurity, rage, shame, guilt, jealousy, and sadness. As their participants demonstrated clinically significant indicators of psychological distress, which was associated with intrusive images, memories, and reflections on their previous unfaithful relationships. The findings are consistent with the conclusion reached in this article that women who have experienced infidelity have a traumatic experience that is difficult and long-lasting.

Divorce or partner infidelity can be an extremely painful and stressful experience for women. In such situations, it is important to find effective coping strategies aimed at overcoming emotional pain and restoring psychological well-being. In the study by I. Kornienko (2017), one of the options for coping, namely distraction, which can take different forms, was examined. The author divides it into six aspects. The first aspect of distraction is taking up new hobbies. Focusing on new interests or hobbies can serve as an effective means of distracting from painful thoughts and contribute to psychological recovery. It can be sports, art, music or any other activity that brings joy and pleasure. The second aspect is the development of education and career. Focusing on professional development allows distracting from personal problems and finding satisfaction in achievements in other areas of life. Immersion in education or career development can help you forget about personal difficulties. The third aspect is social activity. Meeting with friends and family can be an important element of distraction. Communicating with others, participating in various events and having fun can help to improve mood and distract from personal problems. The fourth aspect is therapy. Seeing a psychotherapist provides an opportunity to express feelings, gain an understanding of the situation and develop coping strategies. Professional support can be an effective tool in dealing with emotional pain. The fifth aspect is self-development. Focusing on self-development by reading books, participating in trainings or listening to motivational lectures can help you discover your inner reserves and find a new attitude to life. The sixth aspect is travelling. Going out or travelling can be an effective way of distraction. In general, the author argues that in practice, women most often resort to distraction to forget about infidelity. Despite the fact that the opinions of I. Kornienko's opinions are quite thorough, it is worth disagreeing that in practice women are more likely to resort to this model of coping. In particular, the survey revealed that problem-solving and emotional outlet are more popular types of coping.

M.R. Shrout and D.J. Weigel (2020) argue that the emotional trauma caused by a partner's infidelity is often perceived as an extremely difficult situation. The attachment that has been built between partners is severely tested by an act of infidelity. Reactions to this trauma may mimic behaviours and attitudes observed in the disorganized attachment style, according to Bowlby's (1969) theory. Visible dysregulation in the emotional, psychological and cognitive domains among those who have been betrayed can cause significant stress. It is worth agreeing with these opinions of M.R. Shrout and D.J. Weigel (2020) since, as already shown in the results of this study, emotional trauma in women after a partner's betrayal causes a strong negative reaction, which then turns into coping behaviour. In their study, B. Warach and L. Josephs (2021) emphasize that women who have been cheated on show less willingness to forgive compared to those who have not been tested by infidelity. Moreover, they show a higher level of suspicion of future relationships. According to the authors' research, the disruptive impact of an act of infidelity has serious consequences for a person's ability to openly accept further romantic relationships. They argue that infidelity in a loving and secure partnership can have a long-term impact on a person, creating barriers to openness and trust in future romantic pursuits. These ideas are reasonable and consistent with the findings of the survey conducted for this study. The study by N. Atapour et al. (2021) indicates that women who have been betrayed in a romantic relationship overwhelmingly have a certain tendency towards selfish behaviour. After such an unpleasant experience, they may manifest such traits as self-absorption and focus on their own needs and desires. One of the typical reactions is the desire to ensure their own safety and protection. Women who have experienced betrayal may be more cautious and vigilant in relationships, aimed at protecting themselves. This can be expressed in increased suspicion, avoiding openness and important conversations about emotional state or relationships. N. Atapour et al. (2021) also emphasized that in such situations, it is possible to develop so-called self-protection or self-protective egoism. Women who have experienced pain due to betrayal may be more likely to put their needs first, opposing the possibility of repeating the pain and the risk of being betrayed again. It is important to keep in mind that these are only trends, and in real life, each woman reacts to such situations uniquely. Self-defence and selfishness may be temporary coping strategies that arise in response to trauma. These theses are quite thorough, but it is worth disagreeing with them, since, as already noted in the statistical results of the study, selfish behaviour is not dominant.

J.D. Gossner et al. (2022) argue that preventing infidelity in relationships is an essential aspect of ensuring a strong and healthy partnership. Participation in training and education can be an effective tool to develop skills and strategies that promote fidelity and strengthen relationships. First, communication skills training can provide participants with tools to improve communication as a couple. Understanding your partner's needs, emotions, and expectations helps to avoid misunderstandings that could lead to possible infidelity. Increased mutual understanding can also be achieved through participation in relationship psychology training. These activities can provide partners with the tools to effectively resolve conflicts and build mutual support, thereby reducing the likelihood of situations that could lead to infidelity. In addition, emotional intelligence training can help develop self-control skills, contributing to a balanced and healthy emotional atmosphere in the relationship. This can be particularly useful in avoiding destructive behavioural responses that may arise from stress or disorder in one's personal life. Generally, raising the consciousness of the relationship through educational activities can also help to strengthen the partnership. Sharing values, setting common goals, and understanding the importance of commitment can lead to a stronger bond and a lower likelihood of infidelity in the relationship. Therefore, active participation in training and education can go a long way towards strengthening relationships and making them more resilient to external challenges, including the possibility of infidelity. It is worth agreeing with these opinions and emphasizing that increasing psychological education can help many couples to protect themselves from infidelity. Thus, conceptualizing infidelity as its own unique traumatic experience can help to accurately capture the impact of these situations, while shedding light on the complex emotional, cognitive and behavioural reactions that betrayed partners face.

CONCLUSIONS

The overwhelming majority of respondents believe that infidelity is a betrayal by the person they trusted the most. The most serious motive for cheating is new love. The second place is the total breakdown of the relationship. The results of the marital coping questionnaire showed that in the first group, such coping as self-accusation and conflict style prevail, followed by avoidance. The second group is dominated by positivity, conflict style, and self-blame. Avoidance and egoistic style are used the least. The results of the questionnaire “Coping Behaviours” showed that self-control and avoidance prevail in the first group. The second group is dominated by problem-solving planning and self-control and positive reassessment. According to the test “Coping Behaviour in Stressful Situations”, it was determined that in the first group, avoidance coping behaviour prevails again. Emotion-oriented coping is also highly prevalent. The second group is dominated by problem-solving coping. According to the results of the Reactions to Jealousy technique, in the first group, 50% of the subjects have a high intensity of physiological reactions, 30% have normal manifestations, and 20% have no reactions. High intensity of emotional reactions was observed in 70% of the subjects, and normal manifestation in 30%. In the second group, 20% of the respondents have high intensity of physiological reactions, 70% have normal manifestations, and 10% have no manifestations. High intensity of emotional reactions was observed in 30%, normal manifestation - 50%, absence - 20%. According to the statistical analysis of the results using the Mann-Whitney test, significant differences were found between the group of women who had experienced betrayal and the group of women who had not experienced betrayal in their close relationships. In the group of women who have experienced betrayal, such coping behaviours as avoidance, self-control, confrontational coping, and emotions stand out. In the group of women who have not experienced betrayal in their close relationships, such coping behaviours as positivity and planning to solve the problem stand out significantly.

Based on the results of the study, a plan of correctional and therapeutic work to overcome betrayal as a difficult life situation is presented. Thus, the purpose of the study was achieved; it expanded the scientific knowledge about the consequences of adultery. There are limitations that need to be discussed. It is advisable to conduct an additional clarifying study that limits the participation of women who have been cheated on in the last three months to isolate the reactions of the acute grief phase. The women in the study were young, and thus the results are limited to this age group. Future work should clarify the specifics of the experience of betrayal among those in relationships of different durations. Additional contexts, such as family or religious considerations, might be useful to include. Studying the different aspects of infidelity provides an opportunity to find the best ways to overcome this difficult situation and to find meaning, emotional strength, and reflection on the continuation or end of the relationship.

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