The phenomenon of "implicit order" of in-depth cognition of the psyche

N: Yep.

P: Imagine that the situation does not exist anymore. And you are surrounded by other people. They belong to the environment of your current student life. They have to make you compensate those troubles in the relationships you have experienced in the past.

N: It is hard to move over the previous experience, to get rid of it, since it pursues me.

P: Is it difficult to get rid of the previous experience? Could you address it and say something. Please, give it a try!

N: Probably, I would not say anything, as I am tired of it.

The psychologist's comment: This means that you would like everything to disappear, to have no emotional links to this cross (pointing to the cross, Fig. 1), and not to experience troubles, frustration. Thus, you want to forget everything. It is reasonable! Here we come up to the fact that our diagnostic-correctional process works in unison with your psyche's desires. Psychocorrectional process is directed towards the cognition of the consequential effects, which are very strong, and often stronger than the existing reality. The material has allowed us to spot that you cannot see dignity of the people around you, and that you perceive the relationship with them as dull and unpromising only because there have been difficulties with some beloved people in your previous experience. Here we distinguish the imperative character of the past fixations manifestation that causes destructive energy losses. You have told us that you notice certain repetitions, transference of the previous experience or people from the past onto present-day life or people not aware of and involved in the experienced troubles. S. Freud identified this tendency of forced repetition. Later, in other real situations, experiences, disappointments, and emotional burden influence the modelling of relationships, by unwanted emotional tones, you, N., obviously, would like to say goodbye to. So, we have come up to the inner contradiction of the psyche. We will put this picture aside. We might get back to it.

P: The following picture is a replica of "The strongest" (Fig. 2). When I look at this picture, I feel asif I see an act of self-birth. Do you wish to experience self-birth: to throw off the cross you are bearing (Fig.

1), and to feel at ease?

N: I do not know. When I saw that picture, I had a feeling that those crossed arms were a symbol of power. And for me, power is mental, as it is in the mind, because the emphasis is placed exactly on a _w. Siudmak "The strongest" head (poiting to the light below the Statue of Liberty). Apple (on the left) is associated with the Garden of Eden, with something nice. The Earth (the globe) (on the right) symbolises a global scale, the earth wholeness to me. The Statue of Liberty stands for intelligence, power, will, freedom!

P: Freedom, intelligence, Earth ... Are they a scale of self-realisation, lack of restrictions in self-identification, freedom to act? Are these your values?

N: Yes, they are.

P: To some extent, we can suggest that you would like to be reborn from the water and these stones according to the values mentioned by you, standards that are essential to your self-realisation later in your life. Regarding Fig. 1, do you suppose this picture to be placed under picture 2 (psychologist is laying picture 1 under picture 2)? Is the thing reflected on picture 1 (the cross) an obstacle you want to get rid of?

N: May be so. Perhaps, picture 1 is a shadow of picture 2. I just started to think about it, as I have not ever been at such sessions.

P: What are the objects on the previous picture (Fig. 1) you would like to bid farewell in your act of "self reborn" (Fig. 2)?

N: To the cross.

P: Thus, the cross seems to express the difficulties of your previous life in a synthesised way. Tell me, what this "cross" is associated with. It is not the loss of someone beloved, is it? Has no one passed away?

N: No, it is a different thing. This is a burden of my stuck feelings that cannot leave me.

P: No one has passed away and all are safe and sound. But do you still have problems? So, does the cross originate from them? What part of this cross you would like to get rid of the by act of self-birth (Fig. 2) would have fallen off? Are they, perhaps, feelings of repentance, guilt or anything cannot forgive yourself?

N: Probably, I would let go hatred, offence, aggression, moral rather than physical, non-acceptance of myself and much more I would like to pull out and cognise by the process of making them definite and specific.

P: Is this process a difficult experience for you? (Addressing the group) As we can see, our N. articulates the desire for change, indicates the unconstructive effects of destructive energy of mortido, in its inhibiting influence on libido, which is creative, life-giving energy. (Addressing N.) Would it be easier for you then?

N: Yes, I really want this! I want freedom from myself.

Psychologist's comment: Here are the sources of motivation strength of psychocorrectional sessions we are conduct. We move in unison with what the respondent's psyche wants. To do so, we need to pave the route to the initial causes of personal problems, which do not disappear with time. We do not have to be limited to the conversation. We should offer a specific diagnostic-corrective work based on the visualised material that proves the presence of problems in N. It is difficult to say in advance whether other pictures will be of any help to us. Let us try to continue our analysis of picture 2. Is this figure emerging out of the water a male or a female?

N: A male.

P: Looking at picture 2, does it seem that you have your own ideal in life?

N: An ideal of what exactly?

P: Just a person. A person striving to achieve, to gain significance and strength. Do you have a similar example in your family? Is it possibly determined by your father?

N: I do not have anyone in my family to be an ideal to follow.

P: You have a collective ideal. But is it of the male power or not?

N: No, I do not focus on the "male power". I am looking at the arms. And this (pointing to the crossed arms), somewhere in-between male and female, is a symbol of power!

P: It is of both female and male nature, isn't it? Your words are so true. In regards to the archetypal symbols, the crossed arms symbolise a circle filled with water that is the archetype of the womb. You can notice that something is emerging from the centre as if "germinating" (the statue). This is already of feminine nature. Indeed, in picture 2, there are both the feminine and the masculine. Have you ever had similar experience? Have you tried to throw off the burden of the past, to unbend and "to germinate" as a new one with the virtues desired?

N: I have tried, have made some attempts, but the cross (Fig. 1) impedes the progress. It does not go away, with all my efforts proved futile, it is always with me. So, my efforts are nullified.

P: You'd like to say that in your progressive undertakings of self-formation, the cross has been an obstacle absorbing your strength and energy?

N: Exactly.

P: What element in the picture (Fig. 1) is associated with you in the desired transformations ?

N: This one (pointing to the light in the center of Fig. 2, under the Statue of Liberty).

P: Is this parallel to an act of birth, like "child has seen the light"? Does the Statue of Liberty denote anything definite for you?

N: Freedom and opportunity to be myself. Just myself!

Psychologist's comment: It is very interesting. You speak out the values, achievements, which are promoted by the method of Active Social-Psychological Cognition (ASPC). However, we endeavour to set the dynamics of progressive improvements for a person to get closer and become the real self. The self, which is not a "performer" of the programs developed under the influence of residual emotional fixations set by the past, but experienced already, and which, nevertheless, retains a tendency to return to them and set the tendency of a vicious circle. These emotionally difficult aspects of experience create destructive programs and absorb forces. They overlap with noise life-asserting effects in situations of existing relationships. All these factors diminish prosocial performance of your action and do not allow the mind and experience to work for their benefits in order to optimise ways of fulfilling desires and getting satisfaction from success!

N: I understand and agree to you.

P: Let's go to the next picture (Fig. 3).

You see whether the hypothesis is true (the hypothesis concerning self-birth), then, in this picture we have an evidence, in particular, a hole, an archetypal symbol of womb, where only a skeleton is seen. Tell me, how you perceive the picture, regarding the facts clarified earlier today. Could you explain anything?

N: My choice of the picture is due to the contradiction in it. On one side, there is a living person, but on the other side, there is the skeleton (Fig. 3). I feel a contradiction within myself...

P: But you have been striving for changes so much. You have aready mentioned that there is no desire to carry the cross any longer (Fig. 1).

N: Yes, you are right. I wanted it then and I still want it!

P: Do you think this cross is emotionally alive for you?

N: Yes, it is alive. It is a symbol of stable experiences of my soul.

P: Then this being (pointing to the skeleton, Fig. 3) is also alive similar to the cross? Comment on this, please!

N: Yes, this being (the skeleton) is alive. It can feel pain, suffering, and pangs of remorse and much more, I cannot suggest all of them.

P: Pain, suffering, pangs of remorse. Is that the same as of the "emotionally alive" nature of the cross? And here, we have the skeleton, which expresses the consequent essence of feelings enumerated by you. Is it from the past? Or is this skeleton a newborn? Skeleton exists beneath this living girl and does not leave her in her life. Is it her shadow?

N: Without a doubt, they (the girl and the skeleton) are always together. They cannot exist separately!

P: This statement contrudicts to your desire to say goodbye to pangs of remorse, suffering, to everything that is associated with the too heavy cross for you wanted to get rid of? So, do you feel that even if you give yourself a reborn as was mentioned in the analysis of picture 2, the "skeleton" will still be your shadow then?

N: Yes, That's true. I have such feeling that it will not go anywhere, as this is already my fundamental nature! This is my reality. It does not make me happy, but it still exists.

P: If so, then, everything you have experienced is linked to the significant and valued people, as the cross is inseparable from you.

N: It is linked with me! It is linked with people as well, but largely, everything I have experienced are directed at me, not at the other people.

P: But there was psychological infuence on you from someone close, wasn't

there?

N: Yes, there was both physical and psychological influence!

P: Even physical? I should specify this. Do you mean that there (pointing at the skeleton) you reject yourself not only psychologically, but also physically, as well as the people involved in the physical and psychological influences on you?

N: Yes, I am overwhelmed with feelings of their alienation and rejection.

P: Do you want to forget them as well? If it is so, why do you revive these feelings in relationships with other people not related to the experienced aspects?

N: I cannot explain. Everything comes to life unintentionally, without any of my efforts and, even more, my desires.

P: It seems that you seek or revive the "skeleton" while communicating with every person. However, it is obviously alive by itself. This can lead to the large problem in relationships with other people. Does this inner, invisible interest in "vitality of the skeleton" stabilise "the feeling of the cross on your shoulders"?

N: That's right. There are such feelings.

P: Hypothetically, there might be a sense of guilt combined with the tendency to self-punishment behind this. A sense of guilt is one of the most invisible for man, but the most difficult feelings.

N: It is familiar to me.

P: It is a very interesting picture (Fig. 3). We have discussed this part linked to the symbol of womb (the skeleton). And what about its black backdround, as a symbol of energy of mortido? Does it indicate complicated relationships with mother? Energy of libido is constructive, loving, and creative energy, but mortido is archetypally expressed by dark, not live-giving, suffering energy.

(P. addresses to N.) Speak a little about the girl. She is sitting like this, very seductive, as if waiting for a prince.... Look at her.

N: I have chosen this picture, because there has been an opposed character to her (the girl). I mean this skeleton on the right. This seems to create a contradiction! I paid more attention to the skeleton, than to the girl. I somehow did not seem to see.

P: It turns out that you pay more attention to the "shadows" than to such seductive, life-affirming aspects of life. To my surprise, you place this exactly psychological emphasis at such a young age (the first year of University studying). What would you say to this girl and to her opposition, the skeleton (Fig. 3)? Are they interrelated somehow? Moreover, these figures are sitting on the same tree. Is there any correlation?

N: I would rather remove the girl, and would keep the tree and the skeleton.

P: What do you think this figure in picture 2 (a symbol of freedom, strength, and intelligence) would say on what you have just said? What would she say to you, when listening to you and realising that you ignored a beautiful, young, seductive girl and decided to keep something similar to your own cross - the skeleton?

N: She would ask, "Why do you destroy yourself?"

P: It seems that you realise that you destroy yourself. Do you not forgive yourself something from the past? What could you do at such a young age that you do not forgive yourself? Is it artificial and later habituated? Now it sets the subsequent self-perception.

N: No, it's not artificial. I really feel it. I have experienced it...

P: Did you transform anyone into a skeleton?

N: No. I bear it alone. Actually, it's my symbol.

P: So, who is the person you feel bad about so hard to have turned into a skeleton?

N: I feel bad about my mother and myself.

P: Mother? That is why; the womb as a clue symbol of something maternal appears. While working with picture 2, we have come up to the womb symbol. There is something like been broken (pointing to the rods, Fig. 2) inside the receptacle (made by closed arms). How do you explain your feelings of guilt about mother? Did you try to break off her (your mother) also?

N: She tried to break me off. It was not I who did that. That is why; there are no branches on the tree (Fig. 3).

P: Why do you have such a guilty that you are ready to punish yourself so much, if you are already like "punished"? Whether did mother inspire such behaviour?

N: Fifty-fifty. It was done by both my mother and me, with my share being larger.

P: It is necessary to think about the importance of that sense of guilt. We have one more picture left (Fig. 4). It shows Hell and Heaven. There we have Madonna depicted when throwing her scarf down into Hell, so that the souls, who ask forgiveness, could climb onto it to Heaven.

Where do you feel you are?

N: I see myself in Hell. I have not even approached this cord (scarf) to climb to Heaven. I am somewhere here (pointing to the rock of tongues of fire near the scarf).

P: Do you think you are not ready to go to Heaven?

N: Yes, I am not ready to go there as my sense of guilty is still growing up in

me.

P: So, are you driving yourself to that Hell? Or are you just stuck in the sense of hell?

N: Apparently, yes. But I cannot do this other way.

The psychologist explained that N. should have some rest. Thus, she offered to meet after a one-day break.

"Crisis and stages of resolving it" a. - N.

Continuation of the diagnostical-psychocorrectional work with the respondent N.

N: I propose to take look at my picture "The crisis and stages of resolving it". You can see me at the top right corner (Fig. 5a). I have depicted dynamics of self-perception.

P: Do you feel grief (tears), discomfort?

What else?

N: But I feel comfort as well.

P: Do you feel comfort because there is no other way? Have you adapted yourself to escape from discomfort and hide in comfort? Then, it is "protective comfort", isn't it?

N: Both yes and no. But it is rather the way you say.

P: Does it mean that comfort is a rescue? So, you had to deviate from something inside you in that "comfort", hadn't you? What did you deviate from in order to acquire such comfort?

N: From moral principles, from some societal norms. I have involved myself in things I should not have at all.

P: Did you ignore principles?

N: At first, in childhood, I did not understand whether they existed or not, and whether everything happening to me was a norm or not.

P: But there are those who monitor the adherence to the norms. I mean our parents. Did they somehow try to make improvements?

N: My mother wasn't aware of this side of my life.

P: Did you do anything covertly?

N: Yes, only covertly.

P: If it was covertly, I suppose you did not have that terrible picture in childhood. It might have come out later when you have started to reflect on your behaviour and to compare your actions with the norms and thus to assess yourself.

N: Yes, that's right. When I eventually began to realise "what it was", the cross came out.

P: That "what it was" came to you retroactively. The picture, as a representant, reproduces something that happened from the point of view of your perception. When did you recognise everything? When did the cross appear on your shoulders?

Fig. 1. Picture by S.

N: So, when I was about thirteen or fourteen my inner self-perception became complicated that way.

P: Is this cross on your shoulders unchanging?

N: It has changed in size. In particular, it tends to increase, to grow.

P: Did it grow and become heavier?

N: Yes, sometimes, it was unbearable. It's hard to describe.

P: You cannot forgive yourself for something, can you?

N: Yes, I can't.

P: Do you have a sense of guilt?

N: Yes, a big one.

P: What parent do you feel bad about?

N: Mother.

The psychologist suggested to make a model from stones (see Photo 1) and to place a "guilt stone'".

P: Why did you put guilt near mother?

N: I feel so.

P: It was your hand that put it there. If you put it near her so mother is somehow involved in that sense of guilt in you. If it weren't for your mother, there would not be such a big, heavy stone (see 3 on Photo 1).

N: Most likely it would be. Even if weren't for my mother. She did not know anything about it, but I feel guilty. She might slightly know, but superficial, not completely.

P: If to take into account only what you mother knows, what stone would be associated with your guilt?

N: It would be blacker, not gray.

P: And how does your mother perceive your guilt?

N: As a small pearl (see fragment 1, Photo 1).

P: That means that your mother treats you good enough, doesn't she? Can you still form bonds and attachments with her?

N: No, there can't be any bonds and attachments with her (I am a skeleton

there).

P: It cannot be... There is only a bead, as a part of a necklace, which archetypally symbolises the umbilical cord. So, here we have a discrepancy between the following: your mother thinks that your guilt looks like a bead, and you, obviously, are careful not to let your mother know the true chain of your deeds, to know everything you are aware of yourself. What is bigger? Is this a sense of guilt or feeling of fear that your mother won't know about reality and your attitude towards yourself in the context of your covert actions?

N: I think I am afraid, because she will accuse me, not another person, of everything. It is easier for me to accuse myself, than to have her blaming me.

P: Everything you say is significant. Sometimes, we exaggerate the guilt, blaming ourselves, in order to prevent accusations made by others. As punishment imposed by others will be less significant than punishment meted out personally.

N: Yes, that's true.

P: But is there a reason for the psyche to load you so hard? What is this interest in the "cross of guilt"? Is that linked to someone important to you? If it is possible, put another stone near your stone of guilt (fragment 3). It will point to the person, who is related to that large guilt.

N: I have chosen a black stone (fragment 4, Photo 1 (a werewolf)).

P: Here we can see a very black stone, though it is smaller than the stone of N.'s guilt. Is it someone, who has very hard, unforgivable psychological marking for you? Am I right?

N: Yes, this is my soul's stumbling-stone.

P: Is it a stranger or a family member?

N: It is a stranger and a family member at the same time.

P: As a stranger, it has such colour?

N: No, the colour is an assessment of his actions. He is part of the family, but according to my feelings, he is a stranger. It is my stepfather.

P: What metaphorical descriptions would you give to the person? For example, is it a mouse, a cat or what?

N: A werewolf!

P: If being a werewolf, he did seduce you, didn't he? What stone would it be to symbolise you looking in his direction?

N: It would be a light transparent stone.

P: Would you put it far from the "stone of guilt"? When did such "seduction" emerge?

N: Since eight years old. His real intentions were evident at once, but if you are 8 years old, you cannot identify them.

P: Did you see both sides of that man later?

N: Yes, I did.

P: So, what do you punish yourself for, then? For following the light? You were innocent in your children naivety!

N: I punish myself for having been a participant of actions that should not have been at all.

P: Did those actions concern only two of you? Or was someone else involved?

N: Only two of us.

P: When you were eight years old, you were a child and could neither resist nor understand the real meaning of the situation clearly? So, perhaps, it is not necessary to grow that heavy cross on own shoulders.

N: Although I could not understand then... Later I understood everything happened to me. And the burden fell on my soul.

P: But why are you blaming yourself, if you are pure, innocent and beautiful, a child in the past and the girl at this moment? It is typical to everyone not to be "wrongfully accused"! Moreover, here, it turns out that you transform your own innocence into a serious guilt personally and let it crush down you.

N: Because, at the same time, I understood and I did not understand... to a certain extent I felt that something was going wrong, but I was powerless...

P: What is your age difference?

N: About thirty years.

P: What would you say to the light side of this man and to his dark side?

N: Probably, I would say nothing. There is the only thing in him, the blackness, which takes over. He is a werewolf, so the darkness absorbs the light side!

P: Have you ever had a chance to tell that person everything you think?

N: I just do not want to say again the whole thing I have already told him. There is no reason anyway.

P:So, it has been already said. But you do not approve of it, do you?

N: Do not approve too much, because I need to be stronger.

P: Has the person ever demonstrated ligh or lifi-affirming nature? Or that dark stone has already existed then, hasn't it?

N: The dark stone dominates in all places. As for my perception at the moment, it's hopeless.

P: If your mother happen to be here on this "session", should she gain more understanding of what's going on?

N: Yes, of course. She'll understand more.

P: What would she say to you then?

N: O, God! How could that be! When? Where? What? She would pretend to look in this direction for the first time.

P: But she could make your anxiety even worse, couldn't she?

N: Maybe. However, I am overwhelmed with anxiety even without this!

P: Could this pearl become covered by the blackness in those past situations?

N: It could, no doubt. It could be covered because of guilt and shame.

P: So, this is the reasone you make secrets of all of this from your mother. What would you tell yourself about this?

N: OK, now, in the past or future?

P: As you like. You can do all.

N: In the past - become thoughtful, do not keep silence, do anything! Now ... (thinking for a long time)

P(helps suggesting): Now, obviously - it is good to have come to the psychocorrection session, to acquire something new, more than you already know. What would you said to yourself in the future?

N: Grow up, make progress, move, live!

P: Grow psychologically and intellectually, right?

N: Yes, without a doubt, I'm glad to have come to the correction, to have clarified much for myself, to feel as my mind becomes stronger.

Psychologist's comment: On the model with stones, the difference between mother and the protagonist (photo 1, figures 1, 2) is quite obvious. It is remarkable that the colour with dark shades has already become characteristic of such a pretty, young girl. We do not mean the situation that has been somewhen and has gone by now. We can see that the darkness of situation throws the "shadow" onto N.'s future life and follows her.

N: I think if only I had had no such blackness in my soul.

Fig. 2. Picture by IP Siudmak ”The strongest” " of the soul to make be

P: Let's get back to picture two of the previous session.Tell me, what things it has helped you understand?

N: I've chosen it then, placing on an emphasis on the "head", ie the development of intelligence. As everything starts and comes from the head (pointing to the light near the statue).

P: So, you focus on your own mind, don't you?

N: Maybe. However, I need to weaken the "darkness the mind light.

P: How do you perceive the hypothesis of self-birth now?

N: I rather accept, because I feel the need for this.

P: Thus, self-birth means to evolve intellectually through reconsideration of your life experience, to understand the destruction you cause yourself now, doesn't it?

N: Yes, undoubtedly, because this holds me in some internal inactivity, emptiness! resembles a stop in the darkness of my own soul's desert.

P: You have good self-progression. I hope you will get free from the darkness we are talking about. We cannot give birth to ourselves biologically, but we can help ourselves in reconsidering past experienced situations and in clarifying their consequences. Let's turn to the next picture from the previous session (Fig. 3). Tell me, what have you learnt from the analysis of this picture? What aspects has it helped recognise?

N: It's the role of the "skeleton" in my life most of all.

P: This skeleton is not just merely a symbol; it's a part of you, isn't it?

N: Yes, no doubts, this is my self-perception. It embodies alienation of my own flesh, the female entity. The skeleton itself has no gender identity. Now I have realised why I have been ignoring the girl in picture 3 all that time. It has been the defence: I do not belong to any gender, so it is easier to me to live.

Fig. 3. Picture by С. Verlinde «La Dechirure»

P: Your rejection of this sensual, beautiful girl was really a mystery for me.

N: I did not pay attention to her at all. She did not exist for me then. And now the same thing - I cannot look at her seductive look.

P: This is strange. You are young, beautiful.

You have your whole life ahead. You could associate yourself with a girl rather than with a skeleton, because you are young, gentle and beautiful, aren't you? Last time I offered you to speak to the girl; you said that she did not exist to you. Maybe, when time has passed, you can address the "girl"and the "skeleton" with particular words.

N: No, I can't, it's hard. Especially addressing the girl... The skeleton is a accustomed remainder of my mental sufferings.

P: Consequently, you reject your beauty, your harmonious nature existing externally, don't you? I mean femininity and attractiveness.

N: Yes, I do reject. And I have a feeling that it is beyond my strength to change this.

P: Then, obviously, it is not easy for boys to deal with you, isn't it? They feel resistance, don't they?

N: It is easy for a computer to deal with me.

P: Do you take your intimate relationships out? Or do you express them indirectly by the use of a computer? Or do you think of boys in terms of the category of mechanics? Tell me.

N: I just do not communicate with them. It is better for me to be alone. It is much quieter, more comfortable. I do not cling to the people and do not impose myself. So, I would like to get similar attitude from them.

P: But are they allowed to show their interest in you, because you are a beautiful girl?

N: My "Goodbye!" is a ready shield for all occasions! If I am not interested or I do not like anything, that is it! There is nothing else.

P: But you claim a priori that you "do not like" a person. You're not ready to meet the person, to know the person. It is understandable when it comes for boys. But why do reject this girl in picture 3?

N: I do not know what to say... I think it is because I reject myself. I do not accept own female nature, which seems to me to be unwanted worries.

P: Tell me about the difficulties you feel, when you have to address her, the girl in picture 3. Perhaps, she will help you somehow.

N: I just do not have anything to say to this girl. She seems not to exist.

P: How can it be that she doesn't exist for you?

N: Yes, she really does not exist for me.

P: So, there is only the skeleton for you in this picture?

N: Yes, I can see only it.

P: Don't you think it's weird?

N: I think it is. But I say this frankly, as it is! Honesty is the norm for such sessions, isn't it?

P: When you have been selecting the picture, have you noticed only this skeleton at once?

N: I think I have chosen it because of its general emotional impact on me. It seemed to be emotive. And the details were left for analysis later on.

P: Could you have also surprised yourself before? Or only now?

N: Yes, certainly, I realise that I can surprise someone.

P: And how was it manifested?

N: In the way I do things, I look at people, and the whole world. And I can see I differ from people around!

P: So, the past events of your life have dramatically changed your worldview, attutide towards people, your atributions, points of views, and even your contrast to others, haven't they?

N: Yes, I see it. But I can't do anything to put this in order.

P: Your experienced events have influenced all areas of your life, including perception of family relationships, haven't they?

N: Yes, they are not just a particular isolated experience. They determine my nature.

P: And who notices this in your family? Do you have a brother or a sister?

N: Brother.

P: Does brother know that you look at things in life in a different way, not the same way he does?

N: No, I try to hide this carefully.

P: And who is aware of it?

N: No one. It's only me, who knows how I perceive the world. The main task for me is to hide!

P: Thus, you have to split, don't you?

N: Yes. My thoughts and views remain with me. I also remain myself. I would like to thank you for letting me be sincere during our ASPC session. It's not typical of me.

P: Then you have learned to be a good actress in life, haven't you?

N: Yes, I have. I have been given no other choice.

P: Since you have used to be an actress, try talk to this girl this way. For her not to realise your attitude towards her.

N: I would tell her to get dressed. Nothing more.

P: Your words reveals sensitive attitude to intimacy. Her nakedness hints at this. You've confirmed your desire to avoid any topic concerning intimacy.

N: Probably, yes, I avoid it. But I make no efforts. Because the topic is being avoided involuntarily.

P: You do it effortlessly! You have blocked any manifestations of your own sensuality. Do you want to live your life simply as N., and not be loved, sexually significant, happy, and feminine? I have just made an assumption. I hope you will correct me. You're welcome.

N: Okay. I want to live my life in full. I want to achieve social self- actualisation. But together with this, I also want have my own family as all people do.

Interpretive generalisation of the psychologist: It turns out that this inner split is not painless to you. Deviations from your nature are forced, because they do not correspond to your desire "to be happy in the family". This desire is surpressed there, in the family, by the previously experienced problems. You want to have children, a loving and beloved husband. Why were you picky when I was speaking about a beloved and loving husband?

Fig. 4. Picture by N. Rerikh «Madonna Laboris»

N: Because that is another story, which is moved away, set aside by me towards the periphery of my desires.

P: You showed an interesting reaction.

Probably, I was not correct while rephrasing or specifying your desires. You are welcome to make corrections.

N: I will not correct the expressed prognosis of my desires, because they are very close to the truth, but I haven't accepted it.

P: As we are clarifying, summarising and considering the pictures from our last session, we have only one image (Fig. 4) left. Do you remember where you have placed yourself? Can you recap so that we have the entire picture of the previous work?

N: I said that I was not even on my way out of Hell. I haven't started ascending toward Heaven. There, in the picture, I am standing in Hell even lower than that mournful figure is.

P: This means that you not only live through the experience "presented" by that black stone (a werewolf), but also you keep yourself sitting in that blackness like the skeleton in the black hole.

N: That is true, but it doesn't relate to the current reality (I am learning). Everything said is what is deep in my head and in soul; I have learned to covert it.

P: And it results in your split nature. On one hand, it is difficult for you and on the other hand, it is similar to the life buoy assisting you in looking like a socially adapted girl.

N: I'm not sure... Why is it a life saving buoy? These problems are dragging me down to the dark swamp, and I struggle too much trying to remain "floating".

P: So, here lies your personal problem. Everything in your head affects your self-perception, your daily activity. And then you have to split inorder to hide it, haven't you?

N: Yes, that's true. It takes me a lot of energy, but I can't change anything yet.

P: As a result, we have found out that your light part is less strong than the dark one, forced by the "werewolf" is. It is difficult for you to fight with such force. Give that a thought. Why is the contribution of the "werewolf", which is fixed in the dark self-perception, so significant to you? You freese it, stabilie it inside yourself in order, Heaven forbid, not to lose it! Is that you are dreaming about? Is it worth being kept as a "golden egg"?

N: Perhaps, my dark side is not so powerful, but for some reason I am fixated on it more. Symbolically, it is a pivot, around which the wheel of my life revolves. Then the dynamics is present, but its monotony is defined by the pivot.

P: Then explain, please, which interest you have to this dark side. Have you already got out of this situation?

N: No, not yet.

P: You have acquired light, reflective-rational outlook. However, you are not outside yet. You cannot forgive yourself or that person for something, can you?

N: Yes, primarily, I cannot forgive myself. Therefore, it is so difficult to progress.

P: Are you interested in giving yourself a hard life just because you cannot forgive yourself for something? And what is your benefit here? Is it "sitting with your werewolf" behind the doors of your soul, in the darkness? It is already behind you!

N: I do not know. I just think, that I'm angry with myself, and, at the same time, I don't care about myself. My problem is hell of my soul. The wheel revolving around the pivot of my past is the hell of my soul. Although, at the same time, I am not so indifferent to myself, because I'm a university student. I sought the ways to recognise myself. That is why; I have chosen Psychology Department. I suppose I still have my whole life ahead. I am glad that I'm here... In fact, I didn't have the light in the soul... probably, psychology will give it to me!

Interpretive conclusion of the psychologist: Remember you are a smart, pretty and young girl, pleasant to talk. You should understand that only you can help yourself by rethinking the aspects, which we have helped you clarify, recognise. We had to tackle the "darkness" of your feelings, generated by the past. The need in psychological education requires your concentration on transformation of energy of mortido, which has been activated by certain fixed imprints of the past, into enthusiasm of your professional formation as a psychologist by alleviating fixed mechanisms of self-punishment. Dynamics of the wheel specified by you is working not for your benefit yet, as it is only wasting energy. It takes a lot of willpower to get rid of the problems. You should put the sighn "Stop" to destructive tendencies, set by the bygone childhood. Understanding the reasons of illogical nature of your own actions will contribute to their weakening and to the growth of wisdom in treating yourself and others. You pay high price for the "long-gone past", which has taken already incredibly much effort, personal energy, painful experiences, emotions, and sufferings. I hope that the instinct for self-preservation will help awaken your rational and matur nature and development of adulthood. This gives a guarantee for personal prospects to get rid of the feeling of guilt keeping you in the "Hell" of self-punishment. Work towards your self-improvement will bring peace of mind and inner harmony. Wish you good luck!

N: Thank you very much. I feel relief, enlightenment in understanding myself and realising my personal prospects in obtaining the psychological profession, which is my dream. I am grateful to the members of the ASPC group, who empathised with me during the session, understood and supported emotionally. I've gained new experience and the view on my personal problems, on life in general, on the human psychy's abilities to re-form itself. I am happy I've entered the Psychology Department, where the personal correction of future psychologists takes place. I have realised that it is vital to start professional development with myself. I will try to be a psychologist for me. Thank you.

implicit conscious psyche



References

1. Leclaire S.The Unconscious: the Other Logic/ S. Leclaire //The Unconscious. - Tbilisi : Metsniereba, 1978. - pp. 260 - 271.

2. The Concise Oxford Dictionary of English Etymology (2003) ed.by T.F. Hoad - New York: Oxford University Press - 552 p.

3. Prigogine I., Stengers I. The Order Out of Chaos: Man's New Dialogue With Nature: [transl. from Engl.] / ed. by V. Y. Arshynov, Yu. L. Klymontovych, Yu. V. Sachkov. - M. : Prohress, 1986. - 432 p.

4. Sherozyia A. E. The Conscious, the Unconscious, the Psyche and the System of Personality Fundamental Relationships: the General Theory Premises/ A. E. Sherozyia //The Unconscious. - Tbilisi: Metsnyereba, 1978. - pp. 351 - 389.

5. Yatsenko T. S. The Fundamentals of Depth Psychocorrection: Phenomenology, Theory and Practice - K.: Vyshcha shk., 2006. - 382 s.

6. Yatsenko T. S. Dynamics of Development of Depth Psychocorrection: Theory and Practice - Dnepropetrovsk : Ynnovatsyia, 2015. - 567 s.

7. Yatsenko T. S. Methodology of Depthcorrectional Training of a Psychologist / T. S. Yatsenko, A. V. Hluzman. - Dnepropetrovsk : Ynnovatsyia, 2015. - 394 s.

8. Yatsenko T. S. Depth Cognition of the Psyche's Self-Deprivation in a Future Psychologist/ T.S.Yatsenko, V.I.Bondar.-K.: NPU after M. P. Drahomanova, 2016. - 383 s.

Размещено на Allbest.ru

...